||* The Heart Beat *||

2009-06-10T10:20:00.004+08:00

hey ppl =)

this will be ma last entry for this blog.

yeap.

having another blog.

link to me n maself. =)

more flexible in expressin ur thots. haa.

till then..we meet again..

u guyz can still tag tho =)

farewell~ =)

2009-06-04T15:56:00.003+08:00

sometimes obstacles in life will make u wiser n stronger..
to show you what is life..
n how you manage to hold on to it..
this is juz a pinch..
n i noe..theres more to come..
acceptance.

Dear,

i noe ive been vomitting things out to you..and at tymes i will tend to make u frustrated over ol the stupid question that was asked repeatedly.. i noe each of us have our own things to deal with n it woudnt be fair for me to have it ol on you.. i hope you understand and when everything is back to the place..we go holidae samer2 jom! lol... ahhh...maner kiter nak pergi..itu yangg kiter tak tau...hee..=P thanks for being there for me switheart... you are like a father, brother n a friend.. n of course a lover..for someone who nvr failed to advise me...sometimes i do rebel..but i at e end of the dae...i noe where u coming from... dear, ive learn alot wen im wit you.. thx for being there for me...i promise you that there will be no white hair growing from your hair anymore tey...=(
i love you sweetheart<3
i realise that some wae or somehow, whatever happen it has make me stronger...abit lahz...kan3? .. kasi lahz semangat sikit~ lerr...=P
lot of things were saed...but i think each soul has its strength n weaknesses...n im hapie for whoever you are... n i hope it will be same for you too...
we will go thru this together... =)

"When I see your smile

tears roll down my face

I can't replace.

And now that I'm strong I have figured out

how this world turns cold and it breaks through my soul,

and I know i'll find deep inside me,

i can be the one. =)"

2009-06-03T12:01:00.002+08:00

Ma sae.
for every corner of the mind.
nothing personal.
do not take into account coz it doesnt apply to any particular soul that happen to be here.
something general..bout life...bout what u see...what u listen n what u had been thru..
for ol have thier own wae of analysing things around..
so dun ever judge..juz study n learn...
part of this post,some will tend to get muddle and some may understand..
my advise is...Ignorance is Bliss..=)
Paulo Coelho. yeap. a famous writer that really make u wiser.
this is not dramatic, love or horror or any fiction book that make u imagine n make u fly.
coz this kinda book will nvr be in ma bag..
so ya..Paulo Coelho..
a writer that nvr failed to talk about life..bout the experience he had in life..how he deals with it..
n how he manage to be this far..
to be more acceptance.
to be more wiser.
n etc.
ive stop reading it a few months ago..yea..till e dae i step ma feet into this bookstore..
n i saw a book called "By the River Piedra I Sat Down And Wept" by Paulo Coelho.
haa..k the title sound really dramatic. i thot it was..till i read it halfwae..n i realised..this is the book that will make u wiser n inspires you. n it kinda make you stronger somehow..=)
its about patience.
bout your pride.
bout each path that u took represent who you are.
bout the decision n about "Others"...
decision were made in diferent waes ;
mind?
heart?
anger?
ego?
for this..depends on individual...n each decision reflect the inner side of you.
ar tymes you just sit n ponder bout the thing that has been saed n has been thrown n did to you.
not to dwell of course.
but to analyse n study.
ppl will sae...ppl will give u advise and ppl will do anything to you that at e end of the dae u think that you are worthless..
sheesh~ =_="
it will juz make you n yourself worse n having to suffer it ol by yourself..
so what does it make u..weaker? ppl will think you are soft and weak...ppl will think that you cant even stand on your own grounds..haa..
once again...i repeat...that is what was saed by "people"
at the end of the dae...u lead your own path... n you dont live to please others..
for i think we do what we want to....we do what our heart wants coz at the end of the dae...you have done your part...you didnt hold on to anything...
why do you have to hold on? what do you gain by doing so?
atleast at the end of the dae you wont be saying this to yourself...
" i should have did that.."
for that...regrettin will not lead you back to your past...but it will somehow make you learn...
mistake is to learn but not to repeat...=)
at tymes ppl will throw n shoot to you...at tymes theres a need to reply..den juz do it so...
but sometimes you think that replying will lead to another argument n knowing that the table will somehow turn it bek to you...so why bother?
leave it...learn to swallow.
n having to have this ignorance attitude..is a total bliss...
sometimes "It" is so strong that make you juz wana compromise...but still it depnds on individual...
People will sae who you should be like...
but you decide you pathwae...=)
sometimes...some people tend to forget n forgive n really forget...n juz appreciate what it is now..
for they learn that grudges will lead to hell..
but somehow...ppl think they are pushover..
they can easily be used...
n theres no challenge in this kinda people..
haa..
well...this people never regret what was given to them by Him...
n this people is grateful...tho sometimes people tend to step on them...they believe in retribution and karma...=)
well...i dunnoe...like ive saed...this is ma sae...an opinion that came from one sided...maybe true to some n may be bullshit to others...
for that do i look look bothered..? im sorry...coz i dun...
yea.... sometimes... we may think...
should decision be made by the mind or heart?
well...it depends...
to each thier own.
but it will not only depend on one...
but both...it how u balance it...
n one thing....something that i learn...
dun ask others for the path that u wana take...
learn the road, analyse e road...n experience the journey yourself...
think if it worth the effort ...
if this is the pathwae that u think you could handle...
den ponder, decide n do it...for that is what u have learn n decided...
Dun you ever decide by others decision coz it shows that you dun even noe where you are going..
at e end of the dae...you gona walk down the road ol by yourself...
so does this adviser of yours were there if you were to trip n fall..?
the pain will be juz in you...
so whats the point...n once again you will end up regrettin...
nvr feel stupid for every step taken...
ppl may think ol kind of thing of you....but be glad that you have done your part...
n whatever u did...have its own reason...
n u noe the exact reason why u did it...
as for others...they can have ol the thots of u...but it doesnt change for whoever you are...
u live your wae thru...
falling...is juz another beginning..to make u stronger n learn...
i will never ever be the end...
every fall is to wake you up...
believe in whatever is writen in your life...=)
**
a random post.
very longgg...i noeee..
my blog...so ma sae ah..
LOL!=P
tc ppl..
till den we mit again...
n plz...this is nothing personal nor does it apply to any particular soul..
a general post of life..
so do not analyse...
=)
**

2009-06-02T16:21:00.003+08:00

for "Our" heart still beat as one.

ive learnt n realise where e mistake was.

n writing a new paragraph.

n leaving e past behind.=)

2009-06-01T04:17:00.002+08:00

stuck in this room of mine...
pondering over what have been done n saed....
status changes, n to make it better..."single" ... changed in a split second... well done... speechless..
this is wat life is...different people have thier own wae of handling n coping things in life...
so dun judge or complaint...we cud juz see n analyse...
someone saed.. " he will do juz fine...but can u cope with it or not?"
hmmmm...well...its e matter of the heart... whether i cud handle this or not...let it juz be in me...
sometimes it kept me pondering...
after e incident...u msg n sae... "dun sae enuf is enuf..i will olwaes be by ur side.."
i smiled while reading those msges...
for that moment i thot u understand...but i trap by those words...i was wrong...
every single thing that happened...it has been in him...everything was kept...n one point...u juz throw it out.....n it juz make me go silence...simply lost of words...
nvm...different ppl have thier own wae of accepting things...
u scolded me for not telling everything about ma problems n ma family...
sometimes...not everything can be shared...
but i tried to change n tried to vomit out little by little bout e things in ma mind...
i start to tell things bout ma life...
coz i thot im ready to let everything out...
bout ma family...
ma work..
but now u saed... " maybe i cud not handle e pressure anymore "
i dun blame you........ maybe if i were to be in your shoes...it will be the same...
juz that dun saae that u cud when u cant...
dun force me to tell everything but at e end of the dae....this is wat i get in return...
dun get things wrong...i noe everything has already ended n nothing cud have change that...
coz for that i dun hope...
well...no point to even dwell...
decision has been made....everything has already been saed...
i dun wish to sae whoever fault it is...
but i will juz sae...whatever happen, has its own reason...
n i believe...this is a test for me...for i thot i have alreeady settle down to one thing...
but i was wrong...
He is still testing me...n will accept it with an open hand n heart..=)
but seriously, dun sae u cud handle ol this, wen u really cant...
dun sae u will be by me wen deep down u noe u gona let it go one dae...
dun sae about what gona happen in a few years tyme wen u cant adapt to it now...
u told me u cud not adapt to Them....by thinking of solving it...u decided to run awae from this....
is it fair for me?
do i deserve this? for something that i didnt sae n i dun even wish it gona happened?
yeahh...
once again...no point dwelling...
i will make do with it...
tyme for me to go off to work now...
its 5am...
wen u feel so tired...but u cant sleep...
wen u love someone...but it goes to waste...
cud it worst...?
hmmm..=)
life have to move on...
i'll do just fine...=)

2009-06-01T01:50:00.007+08:00

ive ponder..

ive decided..

n ive have saed it out..

...thx for ol the moment spent...

u have taught me alot...n nvr do i ever regret what we had..

i will do juz fine...

i hope...

2009-05-20T18:05:00.002+08:00

ive been neglecting this blog for quite a longgggg tyme. =)
honestly, work has been taking most of ma tyme.
seriously.
but i feel home whenever i step in e office.
tho it is quite a distance away.. i dun think its a burden thingi..
coz everyone here is like a family members..
we work together.=) nicely done..
and next month, is ma 1 year working here.
that was real fast..
n lots of things i need to learn and need to be done..=)
but no doubt at tymes i do get pissed n tired wit ma colleague..
well thats work.. u juz need to swallow..
n show them like .. "do i look bothered?" =P
like what happened a few hours ago..

MA COLLEAGUE :
"we have to check for the SRC shipment..are u ready?"
ME:
" Yea, give me 5 minutes n im done wit ma things.."
MA COLLEAGUE:
"U sure 5min is enuf..?"
ME:
"Yea..5-10mins n im done.."
MA COLLEAGUE:
"Nvm...you can have e whole dae..~" n off she goes..
ME:
=_=" WTH!!!??? nonsensical.
so ya..n juz drop ma pen, take e document n went to e warehouse..
n act like i couldnt be bothered..n do ma work n check on the SRC shipment..
n wen im done, i angkat kaki n jalan..as if i care..atleast i do ma job..
sometimes its hard to please people...ignorance is bliss..=))
so yaa..n ma colleague came to me n start a conversation..n things are back as per normal..
kadang2 mcm malaz..u simply tired to think of wat ppl think..
you wana talk to me, i talk to u..
u wana show attitude to me, den show wateva u want...=_="
tak kuaser..lagi layan, e more irritatin they will be..
e best is to ignore n smile. =)
work end around 630pm everydae.
dun even have tyme to meet wit karma girls.
dun even have tyme to spend tyme wit john. both are buzy wit werk.well,we make do wit it. n both understand. hes an understanding soul i muz sae. =) truly blessed. having to fetch me n sendin me home ol the wae to JB. tho at tymes i cud juz see how tired he was. but he still put a smile n treat me nice. hmmm.. n im being e lady who olwaes complain..n i do feel real bad at tymes..sometimes he do nag like a mum..hee..n i love wen he do that..i will juz listen n look at him...hee..such a loving soul..=))
**
ouh ya..
can i juz sae this year is a year of "commitment" . random.
wit work..with life..
hmmm..yaa..something that wasnt there i muz sae..
haa..k random..
im off from work..
take care ppl..
n ya..
will be updating in a few months tyme?..hee
short tyme lahz..
sometimes theres more things to do then juz blogging..hehe..ouh tak ehk..
k im off...
tc love! =)

2009-05-04T12:00:00.003+08:00

lots of thing has been botherin.
too much.
its like you are lock in a room,gaspin for air.
difficulty to even breath.
havin few pathwae right infront of you.
but you dun even noe which wae to even begin with.
left or right?
front or back?
but u juz suplicate for e right path.
at tymes lots of things in mind.
but nothing cud be saed or explain.
at times decision were made.
but u dun even noe whether its e right choice of yours.
nvr been this state before.
A Test.
juz giv me Strength.
n i'll do juz fine.
=)

went to swimming with dearest sis yesterdae. but it seems like i was all alone. LOL.
sis didnt swim much. so ya. i was swimming most of the time.
from one end to another end.
surprisingly, i did 3-4 lap non stop. n i feel relieve.
everything in mind juz dissolve in e water i guess.. nice~ =P ouh tk ehk.
but i juz noe two style, which is e frog style n floating.
it was nice. something to relax ur mind.
i have to jump in e pool often now i guess.=P
p.s: imysm.

dear, i did book one of this restraunt for e dinner thingi..juz a small one..but wen i reached your houz that dae, i heard your dad told me that ol of u will be going to JB to have dinner together with your brother..it wouldnt be nice if u cant go.. that is wat i meant wen i sae theres olwaes other dae for e dinner..once again im sowie for what had happen..we will have another outing.yaa..it wouldnt be e same..but atleast it make ur dae..i noe u r hurt over what happened..

n i think i deserve wateva punishment or treatment..=) very much!

cant wait to meet u later lahz...

=))

2009-05-02T23:13:00.002+08:00

hapie 24th bdae sweetheart!=)
first of all, i hope he love e gift tat was given... i was crackin ma head wat to buy for him..hee.. n i noe he nid it..n i bought it for him..=D it is juz a small gift from me..to be compared to all e love n concern tat was given to me..he have been a nice soul to me throughout this 5 months.. n really appreciate his company..we may hurt each other along the wae, we may saed things that we didnt mean to..but we still hold on n be strong..=)
woke up at 7am...clean e houz..as ever..tats e rule.."u wana go out..make sure e houz is clean" lol. so yaa.. was rushin..cleanin2..fast game..hee...bath..ironin cloth...n went to cik zali houz to meet nyanyi...there u go...45mins of lecture...lol..but oklahz...for ma own good i guess...but i was lookin at e watch every second..hee..=P
n i hope he had fun on his bdae...it may not be e nicest bdae to be compared to wat he had...i hope he appreciate it.. n e dinner with his family was nice..=) i really had fun..i was a lil hot juz now..n i wasnt in a mood to take pic...ma apology...i noe it hurt him..but i hope he understand..
(n dinner? theres olwaes other dae..=P)
oklahz.. tats bout it..
gdnytez ppl!
*feelin tired but cant shut those eyes..=_=" "

2009-04-27T17:07:00.002+08:00

sometimes, theres more to it...
n not just dollars n cents.
people are juz blinded by it..
sigh.
breath.
=)
.
p.s : Cant wait for August. hopefully everything goes well. prayin hard.=)

2009-04-22T10:13:00.005+08:00

having an irritatin sore throat.=(
very dry.
fever.
warm water has been ma accompany every sec.
n nature call every min.
awesomeness =S
but is managing well oso lahz. =P

n Dearest, i noe you tired with both job of yours now. cud juz see from your eyes yesterdae.=(

take good care of urself syg.. n dun forget to have ur IMU6.."4 times better than anlene!"

hee..not necessary ehk..=P

will olwaes be by u dear..

till then we meet again..

tastin bliss tremendously much..!

=))

Faith is to believe what you do not see; the reward of this faith is to see what you BELIEVE.

hapie working ppl!

2009-04-16T09:45:00.002+08:00

Just Because Everything Is Different,

Doesnt Mean Anything Has Change.=)

GOOD MORNING! =D

2009-04-14T11:17:00.005+08:00

"The way to develop self-confidence is to do the thing you fear."

it will just kill a person soul if they have e mindset that they are not worth for that particular person life. and having the mindset that e other soul deserve someone better. n if that were occur on each individual mind, they will not move.life will be a total stagnant mode.=)
coz of this, argument will involve and irritation of emotion will occur. and this will lead to tiredness n boredom. and it will juz make things further apart.
So where do they go wrong?n how to even overcome this...
***

Get your priority in life Right.

Simplify your flow of life.

***
assumption can never be fact. so stop.
sometimes, people tend to assume n believe that all the assumption that they have
thru their mind is right. at e end of the dae, they are just suffering their own self.
getting awae from insecurities is to go beyond your control. to do something that you fear n knowing at e end of the dae, it makes you stronger.
having to build this "bridge" of yours, it will take times.
someone may get tired n walk off from your insecurities one particular dae.. for that, nvr weep=)
coz they make u learnt.
And a few will be right beside you, managing your fear and guiding you thru the light.
thanks to thier believe n love. =) n this kind of people, will be right wit u for a lifetime..
***
at e end of the dae, it is how u see it.
whether e cup is half fulled with water?
or is it half empty?
u decide. =)
***

"In the attitude of silence the soul finds the path in a clearer light,

and what is elusive

and deceptive resolves itself into crystal clearness."

sometimes, silense doesnt mean you juz dont care or love e one beside you. sometimes, being by him, n not saying anything, u just feel complete. n not far apart.u just feel e warmth. n not cold n u juz feel love.n not hatred. =) n u juz feel serene...=)

There are times when silence has the loudest voice.

that wat i felt on that period of tyme.=)
nothing changed.

***

this is a story of life.
ma sae.
=)

2009-04-13T09:20:00.002+08:00

when i first received e msg, i truly understand there will be alot of commitment going on ur side.. n e next thing that came into ma mind, i juz told maself..this is a Test from Him. He never failed to Test his servants n i except it with an open hand.=) To test our patience, trust,filial n honesty. i never regret what was given or taken from me. Coz deep down i noe, what happen now, will benefit us in e future. =) but besides ol this, im still human. another weak n soft soul from e creator. nvr failed to make mistake. whenever things go wrong, i'll juz suplicate. for a smooth n safer road ahead. n of course for his success n doing the things that he has been yearning for ol this while. =) n i truly hv faith in him. =) n will alwaes do...=)
*
i went to Kota Tinggi last saturdae. it was splendid! n i really love it..it took only half an hour to reached there... such a serene place to have fun with for family members n to have a peace of mind..looking forward for e next tyme...=)) n having aqasha in our family, it juz make things much happier..=) nuff saed.
*
missing u tremendously much.

2009-04-09T12:10:00.003+08:00

Dearest,

i hope whatever that you plan and hope for in your future n life really goes well dear. i noe you are working real hard and i juz cud see in those eyes. you will make it sayang..insyaallah.. kalau niat baik, everything will go to the right path. n hold on to those Will that u want. hold your parents hand n bring them to the place that they have alwaes wanted dear =) n having that in mind, u will succeed and everything will go smoothly. i almost weep of joy to hear it from u. n im so lucky to have such a soul in ma life.=) i believe ol this that happen, ader hikmah.. He is showing you the wae.. have faith. we work hard now, n we'll benefit it in e future. And i will alwaes be by you, for good n bad. =) i will pray for your success dear...
And dont you worry bout your erutz tey! shes an independant soul.haa.. nah.. i understand if we cant meet up or talk like we used to. i truly understand your position sayang.. this working life of yours will take most of your tyme..but not your love ones.=)) juz update me on your whereabout n im happy enough.. i love u tremendously. n nothing will change that, infact, i it goes stronger upon hearing it =))
syng, seeing you yesterdae really make me go real strong on us. i dunnoe dear, can see you are really serious on this n u really wana make a different.. we will go thru this together tey..you are not alone sweetheart.=)) God will hear ol our prayers if we are sincere in wat we are doing..
n i believe in u. your determination in this. you will make it thru....=))
n seeing you, u make me wana work real hard...i will olwaes hold your hand n will never let you fall.=))
i believe in Him for watever that happen now. n i nvr doubt on your decision.
coz i noe, deep down u noe what you are doing.
faith.<3

2009-04-08T07:56:00.003+08:00

good morning! =))

met up wit dearest NURANUARA BINTE ANUAR..lol.. wen was e last tyme we get to mit up n chill together u tell me darls? lol. got a msg from her first thing in e morning. hopingthat she get to mit up n tell me something that she have yet to tell e others! hee.. that was so random.. haa..i was surprised wen i get to know bout it gal. haha..fated lahz gal..=P trust me, its worth e ride.=D thot of bringing love along, but wen i msg him at 3pm..he's already at Kallang..wit his secondary school friend. boys dae out as per mention.hehe.so nanak disturb, i confirm with noyah that i will be meeting her later. so ya. met her at borders. ended her work at 830pm. was waiting for her at borders while reading some poetry books(as usual). lol. has been awhile=)) used to drop by borders n spend few hours reading those books. serene=) noyah bout this VCD teilight. aiyoh. she have ol e collection for this twilight thingi. haha. name it n she has it ol. crazziness. but ive yet to watch e movie yet. mcm kekecohan gtu,later lahz.haha.=P so ya..went to far east to have our dinner at cahaya. confident jer. but it was closed. we end up having our dinner at Sakura. sorry darls, not that i dunwan u to treat me, next tyme tey.hehe. =P den we headed to Tower B. talk bout ol e things that has been happening in our life n ppl around. hehe.. it was nice lahz dear.. i miss u too.. =(( how i wish i cud juz overnight at your houz ryte? haha. u noe i cant. so yaa. noyah has a private instructor that charge her only 26 dollars per hour. isnt it awesome? but of course, his no. has already been save in ma fone. for reference=P love wanted to send me home. i feel kinda bad actually. its not that dunwan him to send me home, but it was kinda late. i will be perfectly fine going back home by maself. n i thot i am going back on ma own yesterdae.n im so fine wit it.=)) aniwae,dulu pon i used to go home late at this hour. but dunwana make a big fuss out of it n juz agree.=) wateva it is, thanks love, so much2.. i love you too.. i noe u r tired dear..n im not mad that u didnt msg me wen u reached home...sleepy is u i understand..sowie for ol e trouble switheart~=( btw,haircut..is hottin2..=) rest well tey... take carez...n be good~=)) very much!=))

p.s : took a few pic wit dearest noyah, but too lazy to upload. maybe later.hee..=)

2009-04-07T08:50:00.004+08:00

apologize for e delay entry..

was kinda buzy with work n reachin home pretty late at night.

k ill just make a fast update on ma side.=))

workload is fine. but i juz hate mondae~lol=)) n i love fridaez!=P

n dearest bought me a present that i nvr had from anione before.

F480. thanks dear. sampai fening i am..lol. i gona take real care of it.

i really have no idea how u noe i love e fone. if im not wrong, nothing was saed.hmm..

luv u too la! =P

went to accompany his father to ubi to look out for a few car n went off towatched 21 rounds at marina. super packed. but its not wasted tho.=)

n ive learnt to do some simple dishes. not that hard tho n i love it=)

n every weekend i will be one makcik2..wake up,clean houz, go market n Cook.=))

n having filled your love ones stomach juz make u feel full n complete.nuff saed.

one of e daes, dearest decided to follow us to jusco. n we played arcade. crazziness.

but i really had fun.tears of joy.=))

havin ma test on 16th of may. hopefully i gona go thru this n end everything by this year.

insyallah.=)

btw,

learn to listen.

silence n analysis wat was saed.

if its good.smile n repent.

it its bad. apologize. n make sure u are sincere on it n u r really sorry. coz no point of apologizing but u end doing e same mistake over again. n at e end of e dae, your apology means nothing to them. ive learnt.=)

voice out for your own rights.but at tymes, ignorance is bliss.=)

never expect anything in return.

give more expect less.

smile=))

you cant please everyone around.

too much of pleasing others, u will end up losing your own pathway.

so do wat u want n wat u can.

change for good n for yourself n not for others.

appreciate what was given.

love someone with ol ur <3

believe in karma.

god has given u something better in return,

treasure it.

n wen u lose it, no point crawling back for e loss.

any point of time u feel at loss,

go back to Him.

n u will find strength.

wiser.

2009-03-30T13:04:00.002+08:00

It's not about who's right or who's wrong

It's not about who's weaker or who's strong

It's not about who's innocent or who's fault

It aint really bout that kinda thing at all

It's not about who does it or done it or did it to who

Don't matter if the both of us lose

It's really not bout nothing excpet for me and you

It's about drama and love and 'lationships

and when the going gets tough you deal with it

and you dont ever you never walk away from it

you hold on you be strong

It's about drama and trust and making it

if your somebody messed up you dig it in

dont let nobody come between you you just stay with it

you hold on and be strong

and hold on, yes you do

It's not about the stupid things that we say

Were always saying stupid things anyway

It's not about the secrecy of the lines

everybodys gots a secret to hide

It's not about who was it who was she who's creeping on who

Won't matter if the both of us lose

It's really not bout nothing, cept for me and you

Aint bout your pride

Aint bout yourself

It's bout the two of you and noone else

Aint bout the her

Aint bout the lies

Aint bout the crazy things thats running through your mind

It's bout the love thats supposed to last and never dies

very much....

2009-03-18T16:26:00.006+08:00

no doubt that i will be buzy with work for this few daes. mas will be on leave for 3 daes. so here i am. every single thing that i do, i will have to liase with ma GM. fuh.. hopefully everything go smoothly. insyaallah=). anywae it is a test for me. to test what i have learnt for the past few months. n to know ma strength n weaknesses. n diz is the only wae to upgrade myself. cehh..MP!.. =P

shipment will be this thursdae n fridae. will have to get ready ol the custom permit, n invoices. will have to liase with the freight forwarders,Alfro, for the big shipment. n i have been chasing payment from Keppel Seighers for a total amount of S$479,360. they kinda irritate me somehow. kol them on 3rd march n they confirm that they have received the invoices. n when i kol her yesterdae, they claim that they have not received any invoices from us=_=" tsk! lesson learn: liase everything by email. so at e end of the dae, you dun have to sae anything coz its proven black n white. so ya. but Jennies, e finance department was pretty nice to me. she will help me to expedite e payment by this month. we juz have to send the invoice direct to the site for approval, n pass to her directly. n it will be paid by Giro by March. hopefully i will receive e Bank statement soon tey Jennies.=) oh ya, been having pretty heavy breakfast for e past few daes. n it do goooooddd. brain working much faster n im much awake. thanks to ma lovely mum. she been making me breakfast before i go off to work. as early as 5am=) so sweet of her. loveeeee u much2 mum. i will be a good soul of yours tey. i promise.=)) tapi nanak shout2 lahz tey. atot=P ouh tk ehk..

A new chapter.=)

it was blur.
full of question.
n on this period of tyme, i juz need to make it clear.
to kill those insecurities.
to stand on ma own grounds n stop ppl from making me feel real low.
n now wen i go deep on it..on ma own..yea i did..
for ma own good i must sae..
i went deep down n research it on ma own..
its much more clearer.=)
no more doubts.
one word, alhamdullilah.
ive kill ol those insecurities.
im addicted to faith.
no doubt that i kinda lost ma wae for e past few daes.
those criticism juz upset me.but silence seems to be e best option.
no! its not about cowardness,or being a pushover or watever u kol it.
at tymes, u saed e best wen u saed nothing at all.
at tymes you juz have to sae it bek wen it tend to go over e limit.
but i dont get mad over this issue,at first i was,
but to think back, hey thx to them.
coz they juz make me stronger.

for you im standing here n i still believe.
n for you i truly love.
n for e past i burried it deep down.
n im digging a new hole for us.

baby, ive learnt alot wen im with you.

so much that every tears shed was blessed.

2009-03-16T07:35:00.002+08:00

Misses.

being with you is truly a

*Bliss*

=))

ok! i feel like eatin zam zam later!

random.

did i hear something..hmm..

really?..

ouh thx u luv!=)

ouh salahz ehk..=P

2009-03-10T13:18:00.005+08:00

Love and Time

There was an island where all the feelings lived:

Happiness, Sadness, Knowledge, and all of the others, including Love.

One day it was announced to the feelings that the island would sink, so all constructed boats and left.

Except for Love.

Love was the only one who stayed.

Love wanted to hold out until the last possible moment.

When the island had almost sunk, Love decided to ask for help.

Richness was passing by Love in a grand boat.

Love said,

"Richness, can you take me with you?"

Richness answered,

"No, I can't. There is a lot of gold and silver in my boat. There is no place here for you."

Love decided to ask Vanity who was also passing by in a beautiful vessel.

"Vanity, please help me!"

"I can't help you, Love. You are all wet and might damage my boat," Vanity answered.

Sadness was close by so Love asked,

"Sadness, let me go with you."

"Oh . . . Love, I am so sad that I need to be by myself!"

Happiness passed by Love, too, but she was so happy that she did not even hear when Love called her.

Suddenly, there was a voice,

"Come, Love, I will take you."

It was an elder.

So blessed and overjoyed, Love even forgot to ask the elder where they were going.

When they arrived at dry land, the elder went her own way.

Realizing how much was owed the elder, Love asked Knowledge, another elder,

"Who Helped me?"

"It was Time," Knowledge answered.

"Time?" asked Love.

"But why did Time help me?"Knowledge smiled with deep wisdom and answered,

"Because only Time is capable of understanding how valuable Love is."

Hand in hand, under the moonlight,
The touch of your hand, your presence worthwhile,
The warmth that you give me makes me feel so secure,
I will be with you in pain; I will be with you in cure!

2009-03-10T13:02:00.002+08:00

E Mountain Story

A son and his father were walking on the mountains.
Suddenly, his son falls, hurts himself and screams:
"AAAhhhhhhhhhhh!!!"
To his surprise, he hears the voice repeating, somewhere in the mountain: "AAAhhhhhhhhhhh!!!"
Curious, he yells:
"Who are you?"
He receives the answer:
"Who are you?"
And then he screams to the mountain:
"I admire you!"
The voice answers:
"I admire you!"
Angered at the response, he screams:
"Coward!"
He receives the answer:
"Coward!"
He looks to his father and asks:
"What's going on?"
The father smiles and says:
"My son, pay attention."
Again the man screams:
"You are a champion!"
The voice answers:
"You are a champion!"
The boy is surprised, but does not understand.
Then the father explains:

"People call this ECHO, but really this is LIFE.

It gives you back everything you say or do.

Our life is simply a reflection of our actions.

If you want more love in the world, create more love in your heart.

If you want more competence in your team, improve your competence.

This relationship applies to everything, in all aspects of life;

Life will give you back everything you have given to it."

2009-03-10T12:46:00.003+08:00

random story to share

The Rose Within

A certain man planted a rose and watered it faithfully and before it blossomed, he examined it.

He saw the bud that would soon blossom, but noticed thorns upon the stem and he thought,

"How can any beautiful flower come from a plant burdened with so many sharp thorns?

Saddened by this thought, he neglected to water the rose, and just before it was ready to bloom... it died.

************************************************
So it is with many people.

Within every soul there is a rose.

The God-like qualities planted in us at birth, grow amid the thorns of our faults.

Many of us look at ourselves and see only the thorns, the defects.
We despair, thinking that nothing good can possibly come from us. We neglect to water the good within us, and eventually it dies. We never realize our potential.
Some people do not see the rose within themselves; someone else must show it to them.

One of the greatest gifts a person can possess is to be able to reach past the thorns of another, and find the rose within them.
This is one of the characteristic of love... to look at a person, know their true faults and accepting that person into your life... all the while recognizing the nobility in their soul. Help others to realize they can overcome their faults. If we show them the "rose" within themselves, they will conquer their thorns. Only then will they blossom many times over.
********************

till den, we meet again <3

2009-03-10T08:22:00.002+08:00

reached his station as early as i cud be.
juz misses him lah=P
waited patiently n no kol from him.
=)
too much of awaiting n i juz need to kol.hee =P
make a dump surprise n luv was mad. i deserve it.lol.
"clever me.=_=" he's tired at werk n i make this unnessary prank.
tsk2.. sowie switheart.=)
aniwae, u still see me ryte infront of your station.
hope it make u feel better dear.=)
ouh geram ehk?...ouh ah ah.. ;) very much!=D
decided to eat at KFC coz he has been mentioning bout it for the past few daes.
i ate twister n he ate zinger burger + twister..isk2..hee.. =P
n he send me home..pnat2 pon kener send..pity him..hmm..
juz a short meet up but i feel so home by his side. i really do.=)
seeing him smile juz make ma dae~
will taste this bliss till ma last breath.
im addicted to faith.
we sang ol those random song in the car..
as usual he noes ol the lyrics, n im trying ma best to blend in.LOL. shut up.=_="
reached home at 10 plus..
qasha juz miss him so much lahz..=)
he was playing with him..qasha was laughing n having so much fun..
haiz..i love u dear..for whoever you are.. =)
ok..been having this temper for e past few daes..
really bad. its so not me. maybe bcoz of those 'period' moment.hate it=_="
niwae im back to ma normal self. =)
till then we meet again.
*bliss*

2009-03-09T10:42:00.002+08:00

I NID TO GET SERIOUS WIT MA JOB.
N DUMP OL THOSE UNNESSARY THINGS IN MIND.
N DO WAT I WANT.
STRIVE FOR WATEVA TAT U WANT IN LIFE.
N BE FIRM IN UR DECISION.
N STOP THINKING WAT OTHER THINK OF U.
ITS JUST A WASTE OF TYME.

HAVE FAITH N BELIEVE.

TILL DEN WE MEET AGAIN..=)

2009-03-06T13:14:00.004+08:00

happy 3 month old luv.

yea, lots of thing we've been thru out the journey.

up n down. those moment i really treasured. it maybe painful at tymes, but ma love for u deepen as daes goes by. you break those walls that have been a barrier in ma life.

those wall that i was so afraid to even touch it.

coz i was so scared i wud hurt maself.

but you step out n break it! n show me those light ahead. =)

i thx Him for bringing you in ma life. really do.

theres too much to even list it out.

let it juz be in ma thots n soul =)

ive nvr tasted this "journey".. thx u sweetheart..
*ma journey of bliss.*

2009-03-04T07:58:00.003+08:00

I just wanna be alone tonight

I just wanna take a little breather......

at tymes, life is like film, u need NEGATIVES to DEVELOPE.

its how u see it. =))

till then..

2009-03-03T07:47:00.005+08:00

trust? such a big word to start it with.

yea, letting go n watch them from far.

for wateva reason it is, i will still hold on to those pole.

wat makes u think that those bridge that u r standin on will support u thru out ur journey?

wat makes u think that it wont collapse?

its not about u r not trusting those bridge to support you..

in e very first place, u wudnt be standin on it if i dun trust ryte?

so dun assume. for i noe watever that was saed, theres a reason.

wat if i trip n fall, i still have those pole to support me.

n i wont be fallin, trippin, hurtin maelf.

n at e end of the dae i will lost ma wae home, weeping for help.

n e only company will be ma own shadow.

well, maybe bcoz u used to trip n fall from those bridge.

so this tyme round, its more to precaution.

atleast ur still havin those trust to even stand on those bridge again.

well, it takes time..

n time will decide..

farewell.

=))

i miss u switheart.

nuff saed.

2009-03-02T14:03:00.010+08:00

Had an owesome meeting up session with ma squl mate. met aini,meg n sue at yishun n met e rest at plaza singapura. supposed to watch movie but i and aini decided not to. y? because e whole intention of this meet up is to talk n noein how life has been after our ITE life. n if we were to watch movie, i dun think we even have tyme for this. so ya.=) we had our lunch at macdonald. i had capuccino n aini had hot chocolate.n one of this malay soul juz so irritatin.pfft.=S

n rest had their own meal.=) we were being such a kecohrable girl. lol. laughter every minute. nice...it has been a year actually we have yet to meet up. n its good that everyone is still e same. n we still as crazy as before.

sue was met in an accident.. those bruises on ur leg,hand,body n face really freak me out gal..tulahz,nak sgt amek lesen motor kan..=Plol. yea, we shud meet up n chill at yishun often.. =)

Aini was e sweetest n gorgeous soul as ever. =) we really had a deep conversation at TCC.yea, u made e right choice luv, n he who tried to change u n make u feel useless, he shud be

hang to death! if appreciation is not given, den leave. u will get much better soul out dere. =)

will olwaes have e tyme if u feel like letting things out tey. misses!=D

N meg is doing great. still as crazy as ever. n ol those crazy things we have been doin in squl. lol. only god noes.hee.. n i miss those time tho. =)

after we had our lunch, we we went out n chill outside PS coz sue wanted to smoke. took a few pix n we sat at TCC.

time past real fast n we dun even realised that its olmost 5pm.. me, sue n meg have to go off to meet bf. sue was pissed off coz its rainin.lol.i had to go to the loo with aini n bf called. met him outside e ladies n we we went separate waes. hmm..we must chill out again tey gals! misses!

met bf n we ate at LJS.. our "brown" dae..lol..=P bf was upset coz its rainin.lol. n he didnt wear spectacle. he was with contact lenses. it was e first tyme for me.hee. well, hotstuff..nak ckp aper kan..lol.. ouh tk ehk? lol.. we really had fun walking, running from one places to another due to the heavy rain. we decided to buy an umbrella. we need to actually.=)) really had a great tyme with him by my side. we bump into nani n nazz n her colleague at lucky plaza. too bad qasha was asleep..=(( was missing him badly.. went to borders n those horoscope was givin me a tight slap. lol. so i decided to close those magazine n walk off. hee..=P at e end of e dae, bf was mad over a few issue.=(( so sad.. but i tried to calm him down but at e end of e dae, i was e one getting scolded. bagus ziela. lol. so i decided to keep quiet n listen to his nagging. =) met mimi at cwp singtel. n mimi was waiting for us at e wrong shop. LOL. salah timing lahz mimi niek. n make bf more fuming in anger. niwae mimi is not used to upgrading this line thingi..takleh salahkan dier kan.. dear was really angry at that period of tyme. tatott~=( after awhile things were back as ever. love him too much lahz.=) wont be meeting him todae coz hes working at 7pm. hope to see u tomolo luv. till den we meet again.

tasting bliss<3

sunny dae!
we r too tired.lol.

aini, me , meg n sue

ma gorgeous pal.

aini n fiona

aini n meg

while waitin for them=P

meg n aini

meg n sue

2009-02-24T12:45:00.003+08:00

in denial.

n strictly nothing to do with ma life.

e life of people around you.....

hope that were given.
those kisses that were shared.
oh u,how long r u going to play diz game of yours?
vows that were given.
oh cant u see from those eyes that are filled wif luv of yours?
there will be a dae of separation.
a fullstop to ol those vows n hope.
oh u, hw selfish can u be?
leaving e soul hangin in the air.
n u leaving with a new life of yours.
for once believe in retribution/karma.
dont you feel guilty..
a pinch of sympathy, is there?
simply,
lost of words.

2009-02-23T13:21:00.003+08:00

as usual...

having ma break as for now...

btw, i had ma lunch..=)

so wat did i do on weekend?

pretty relaxin n fattening dae actually..lol..

doesnt matter tho =P

Saturdae woke up at 10am..feeling2..went down..had ma breakfast n watch tv..

BUT i cant..ol of us have to wake up n clean e houz..

coz 'captain' a.k.a 'CID' a.k.a 'Mak' start to command..

so yaa... =_="

n in the afternoon.. nani n me decided to cook..

we cook n eat n cook n eat..

haizz..but aniwae~

we cook opor, sambal telur ikan bilis n sambal belacan..

n i love e sambal belacan..finger licking!

i loike!...=))

but i didnt like e opor n e egg..

ate ma sambal belacan wit fish..sudap!

den nani decided to cook

this bubur chacha..

oklahz..i didnt eat..freakin sweet..

but i had fun cooking..

learning slowly..lol.. =P

n i watch few vcd wit nani n shah..

play with mentayang..

hes so aggressive...but so manjer..*hugz* =)

n etc. =P

***

love has been workin..thot wana pack e food for his lunch...

hmmm..but too farr...

called FedEx to pass it to him..but line was cut off..hmm..

too bad~ =( ouh tak ehk..=P

ouh ya, went out for dinner wit his parents on fridae..last minute..

had our dinner at jurong point..

his mum was not in a condition..shes havin fever..been coughin n coughin..

but still dunwana go doctor..amamakz.. it runs in e blood i guess..hee

his dad was being such patience soul n bare with her..so manis~=)

i ate yong tau fu..n most it were 'green'

dah mcm Kambing..lol..mum ate fish n chip, luf ate nasi berani n dad ate e same dish as me..

it was flooded wit ppl...so semak..but we get a sit tho..

His mum was tokin bout those young couples wit babies beside us..

i juz listen...

tokin bout how his mum n dad married at a young age..

his dad was funny ol e wae.. "sweet 16" ehk pakcik..

his mum abit garang...tatot~ =S but can see shes a very soft hearted soul..

so ya..we ate n went off..=)

***

misses.

lamernyer werk abezzzz niariii...~ =(

2009-02-23T12:48:00.003+08:00

This song came into ma mind..

suddenly..

this song has been awhile tho..

lovely...=))

randomly.....

At eight o'clock we said good-bye,
That's when I left her house for mine.
She said that she'd be staying in,
Well she had to be at work by nine.

**
So I get home and have a bath,
And let an hour or two pass,
Drifting in front of my T.V.,
When a film comes on that she wants to see.

**
It's Monday morning 5:19
And I'm still wondering where she's been,
Cos everytime I try to call I just get her machine.

**
And now it's almost six a.m.
And I don't want to try again,
Cos if she's still not back then this must be the end.

**
At first I guess she's gone to get
Herself a pack of cigarettes,
A pint of milk, food for the cat,
But it's midnight now and she's still not back.

**
At half past two I picture her
In the back of someone else's car.
He runs his fingers through her hair,
Oh you shouldn't let him touch you there.

Monday Morning 5:19

Rialto

2009-02-19T07:57:00.002+08:00

"knowin ziela, i noe=_=' "
wahh...so much of noeing i guess...so wen was the last tyme we sit n talk...=_="
so much of closeness between us huh...i hardly noe u...n we hardly talk...
so where do e "knowin" appear...? hmph..
guess uve been hearing n asking from others..
things were said n analysis btween both of you..
well done..=_="
farewell.
***
those sentences that were saed by me yesterdae..
sis, i dunnoe why..but one word, "tired"
suddenly i juz mean wat i sae yesterdae..
being selfish? hmm..i dunnoe...
i cud sense it..
like it used to be before..
which i assume that its juz ma" i______s"
but at e end if the dae its true..=)
can i?..
i need e ryte tyme..
i need strength as for now..=)
sometimes, ppl around make ur heart go real stone.random.
***
will continue later....
till den we meet again..
=)

2009-02-18T13:00:00.004+08:00

10 Random thots for e dae =)

1) i had a gift from a colleague.
2) ive juz vomitted few hours ago.
3) bless with ma job. tho it kinda pissed me off sometimes.
4) i Need to save n be a lil selfish at sometymes.
5) tasting bliss =))
6) i wana go to the beach.
7) slept for 8 hrs yesterdae! =))
8) i will nvr change MY fone. mind you.=)
reason: it is more than juz a Fone=)
9) absent-minded at tymes.very irritatin. i noe.hmph!
10) im mad with one of ma colleague at this period of tyme. =(
but i do talk to her tho. =_="
***
hmm...ok..lets make it as 20 random thots of the dae!
***
11) im eatin another apple now.
12) mum juz kol a min ago n ask..
" ela dah makan? tgh uat aper? banyak kejer?.."
uat senang2 jer tak boleh tanyer pat rumah..hee..
calling me every single dae she have now.. lol.. love u too mum!=)
13) im meetin john later! yeah..=))
14) i feel like going out later..hmm..
15) i missing mastura anuar.
16) im endin ma break at 2pm todae.
17) i have a new colleague name Alex.=_="
18) i juz received a msg from "luf=)"
"syg...i kene keje niari...ada orng amek MC.."
kalo gtu u pon amek MC jelahz..hmpf..=))
so amendment on random thots on no. 13 ...im not meetin john todae=(
19) i juz remember i nid to submit a document to jeffrey by 3 pm todae.
20) im gettin back to work! =))
***

till den we meet again..=)

guess we are not gona meet up todae too due to your last minute call for your work.=(

its ok...niwae its for work..do i have a choice?=)

misses.

till then.

farewell.

2009-02-17T07:39:00.002+08:00

Good Morning to u im wishin=)
yeah, step in e office as early as 730am..
nah, its juz half an hour early... =)
n its better this way coz i dun have to rush up ma task..
atleast i can write down wat i have to do for the dae..
rather than steppin in the office, sit n do watever things that was lying on ma table..
so kokap..n so not organise..MP..lol! =P
***
so ya..wat did i do on 16 february 2008,Monday.
hmm..at work? hmph! monday blues.
actually it wasnt tat bad after all..
kinda glad that i make an initiative to come back on saturdae n clear ol ma plate..
those pending documents that i have yet to clear it out..
n when i step in the office, it was abit organise..so ya..for better..=)
work has been pretty good..but no doubt i tend to make mistake here n there..
well..it takes tyme..n i understand..kinda pissed me off sometimes..
being positive is e best option i guess..=)
ouh ya..met nuraini in the mrt..one of ma ite friends..
we gona have a reunion on the 27th February..=)
***
work end as late as 6pm..
met john CCK mrt station..for dunnoe wat reason i was missing him so badly yesterdae..
missing him as early as 8am..n im endin ma work at 6pm..
wonderful isnt it? 10 hours of waiting..lol.
he message n told me that he gona have his lunch at madinah..
n nani claim that it was at arab street..=_="
thx u very nice..lol.
so not necessary...=_="
met at cck mrt station.. n had our dinner at LJS.
seeing him juz make ma dae lahz..as simple as that..=)
he was lookin good with his new hair...lagi make ma dae..lol..ouh a'ah=P
so yaa..we decided to go home as both of us are working in the morning tomolo..
tho we had few arguments in the car...hmph..
due to both stubborness...
n my olwaes-have-a-reason sickness..
well.. at e end of the dae.. its was for good..
i noe hes mad for ma own good...n i love him for that..=)
glad that e argument that we had nvr dwell.. we talk..we argue...n within an hour..
we are loving each other...
hmph! nw im missing him..grr...=P
k im doing ma work..
till den, we meet again..
tasting bliss.
thx u god.nuff saed=)

2009-02-16T08:59:00.002+08:00

hmmm...

Missing u badly=(

nuf saed.

2009-02-13T07:37:00.003+08:00

Believing=)

believe in wat see.

believe in wat u do.

believe with wat were shown.

believe with wat were said.

Life is too short to wake up with regrets.

So love the people who treat you right.

Believe everything happens for a reason.

Forgive quickly.

God never said life would be easy.

He just promised it would be worth it.

****
"If you love the life you live, you will live a life of love=)"

nuff saed.

***

farewell.

p.s: splitting headache due to 2hrs of nap.anw,TGIF!! =))

2009-02-11T13:07:00.002+08:00

"why now? why after 2 months plus?"

those were the question asked..

it keep on lingering on ma mind thru out e nyte..
tsk! that period of tyme..
how i wish i cud rewind those moment n take bek those words..
how foolish n heartless can a soul be? what was i thinking at that period of tyme?
hmmm..=_="
wat did i do?
spoilt ol those appetite..
kill ol those laughter..
buried ol those happiness..
n wat do i gain? nothing.
well done.=S

that period of tyme.

i kept maself shut.

silence ol e wae.

i juz stare at those disappointed eyes.

***

hmph.."how cud i ?" =(

how cud i even hurt those eyes.

those eyes tat see ma imperfection perfectly.=)

those eyes tat nvr complaint.

those eyes that nvr failed to make me feel complete.

those eyes that make me walk on air.

those eyes that make me feel something tat i nvr felt before.

apologise for e heartless act.

the abrupt paranoia WAS killing me.

i repeat,"was".

***

If love is music in its purest form, then you are the notes on the page and the melody in my heart.

2009-02-10T16:53:00.004+08:00

Take my hand when my eyes weep.
Hold me gently in your arms.
Finger my curls, as I sleep.
Dazzle me with all your charm.
***

Provide me time and space.

Listen closely when I speak.

Secure in your life my place.

Support me the times I'm weak.

***
Cherish our time together.
Dread any time we're apart.
Mean when you say forever.
Let my absence gnaw your heart.
***

And let all my joys be yours.

Let my sorrows be as well.

And share relationship chores.

Mind your ego, lest it swell.

***
And I beg you never fight.
Let us walk our time in peace.
With a kiss for every night,
Let our passions never cease.

But above all these my Love,

Swear always that you'll be true.

For's not you I ask these of -

They're my promises to you. =)

2009-02-06T14:05:00.002+08:00

alryte..as usual..having ma break..and amazingly i feel hungry..like real hungry..ordered Mac fillet meal..n drank hot tea..suddenly im craving for it..and having to eat it..it feels so much better now..=) accompanied by those hot tea..im much awake.. hot drinks juz wake me up..=) hot coffee? i'll give it a pass..will only have it when im really in need of it..when both eyes kept shuttin down..i'll have it..=)
will be having CNY dinner with sumiyoshi at COPTHORNE KINGS'S HOTEL at 7pm. it is near e padang..at havelock road.=) it will be ma first ever tyme touching ma feet in. Dun feel like going tho its a 4 star hotel. hmph. i feel so leceh..n it will be around 30 to 35 ppl..hopefully it will take around 1 or 2 hours den i can go off n meet john. =) john was being such a nice soul by fetchin me later. so jeffry..u can bring your larling back home safely.lol.=)
******************************************************************************************

And wishin a 2nd month old to 'US'. =)

yea, tyme pass real fast n i dun even realise it touches 2 month old. well theres much more to go..n im glad that ive met you along the wae. like ive olwaes believe that whatever u gone thru, nvr regret coz it will make u a stronger soul. and for those who believe n have faith in Him, be patience as god is thinking of something better to give you. n im blessed for giving me someone that never failed to brighten up ma dae every single minute of ma life. sometimes theres up n down n i nvr take it as an obstacle, coz having those arguments will make us noe deeper about e other soul. so dun ponder so much n love someone for whoever they are. =) for e past 2 months,one word i would sae, " euphoria". those trip, those laughter, those argument=) n those moment spent. very much appreciated. thx love, u noe i heart u alot..n i noe u luv me more..=) ouhhtakkk~;) very much!

later we go walk2 sampaiiiiii *cough* syng u many2=)

n weekend spend every single minute with your parents tey=) pity them.. everytime u r back, they are asleep..n i feel bad too=( so make sure weekend must berkepit with them tey..till they suffocate~ lol.. they miss u dear.. n i noe u do too love=) dun worry bout your love.. " i tak kesah seh" *stomach in" LOL. hehehehe...=p

take care switheart..have a wonderful weekenD...=)

*****************************************************************************************

And irsyad, as for 2molo, i'll gve it a pass.. next tyme aite! yaa....at tymes, u have to lose something in order to gain something...n im losing this fun to gain those love..ouh tk ehk? lol.. k dear.. enjoy! =)

2009-02-02T13:58:00.002+08:00

i nid a break as for now.=)

******************************

otey..been abit tired this few days.

even now.

headache.maybe coz of work.

well nothing,used to it=)

wen u dun even noe where to start.

juz wrote down ol the thing that i have to do.

so ya.better now.

feel much lighter.

i adore e commitment that i used to shower.

at tymes i feel bad.

for e things that were...

ya.

God, give me strength.

dun let me sink.

coz u are e only reason y im standin here still.

i feel serenity wenever in closer to u.

2009-01-30T17:01:00.002+08:00

boredom strikes!
***
i was doing my work wen mind suddenly shut! scary..i noe..so i decided to blog.. ;) penyakit A. ouh tk ehk? hee..kadang2 jer.. ;)
john is having his "vacation in paris".. so cant message2..later he maaarrrahhh..=( later e face change..i dun like!hmph!
(but mrh tandernyer syng ehk..lol) =) hee..
have your rest love..i noe theres lots of "Sarkis" (case) u have to deal with at work..i understand..will msg wen u msg me first aite=) coz i dunwan u to get awake upon receivin ma msges=) rest well dear..sebabbbbbb 2molo is SATURDAE! =) hee..yeah! i noe u excited more..lol..*diggin nose* hee..
cant wait to meet John later.. im rottin in this office.. serious shit..SHIT!..=S n its fridae..n FRIDAE MODE = HOLIDAE MODE.. so sorry boss.. its ma holidae mode.. u can continue wit your energetic mode..=) i give up.....
amamakz! tyme check 5:18pm...*glance at hp*.. noooo mmmsssgggg..=(
dier penat lah! understand lah ckit ziela! ok!=)
guess i will be meeting him at yishun lahz..will be easier for him kan...yeah..=)
wateva is easier for u, will be much easier for me dear..=)
very much!=)
***************************************************************************
i may hurt u along e way by talkin bout e past..
im sowie dear.. i noe i shudnt have..u have ol e right to mad at me..
n im not angry..infact im glad u blow out to me..
i really nid it.. (sometimes jer k..kenot olwaes..)hee
it wake me up n i will stop..
im juz a human..
another weak soul from e Creator n never fail to make mistake..
once u sae it out, i juz kept silence..
its not that i wana rebel or wat..
coz i regret saein it out..n i prefer to kip maself shut..
n i dun blame you for hangin up e fone..
=)
yaa..i understand.. theres a limit for everything..
n theres a limit to your patience..
guess i exceed it tat tyme..
n it will be e last tyme..=)
very much n endlessly! =)
tyme check: 5:35pm
john masi di pasrisi sih...masih belom kesedaran..=(
hee...rest well love..i'll wait..=)
VERY MUCH N ENDLESSLY!!!
Henderson Wave, i is cumin=)
n not henderson bridge ehk..=_="
(*shake head* *tap forehead*)
keselengean btol lahz..
anak saper lahz niek... ;)
*******************************************
See u later NURAZMAN BIN YUSOFF =)
i hope so..hee
=)

2009-01-28T08:50:00.005+08:00

___________________________________________

current mood: fuming.annoyed.

___________________________________________

very first thing in e morning.

testing e patience.

is so not necessary.

ignorance that were given is "very much appreciated".

very nice.

awesomely done.

goodbye!

haiz...

******************************************************************

12:34noon.

currently having ma break till 130pm.. n im still on holiday mode.. dragging those feet to go to work..urgh..so e lazy bum..but its ok..i noe im not alone ryte? *wink*

workload = average.

mood = fuming + disappointed + =(

but i dont bother anymore..

let it be =)

at tymes ignorance is bliss..

n swallowing seems to be e best option for me..

coz i juz dont wana argue..

dun wana make unnessary hatred n headache..

wen others dont feel a thing out of it..

so y bother?..

move on=)

as long as you dont do bad to others..u r perfectly safe..

breath..

**************************************************************

NEXT,

hmm..had a total of 2 hours sleep yesterdae..

maybe bcoz i had a long nap in the afternoon..=_="

well i ask for it...

its holidae mode ppl..=)

so yaa..slept at 3am in the morning..

had a long draggy gossipy conversation with ma dearest mum..

lol.

juz realised that shes a crazy soul like me..

talkin n laughin our lungs out..

mepekz jugakz ibu kuz ini..

ma work..

ma life..

ma studies..

ma stubborness..

cuzins..

everything under e sun i muz sae..

seems like now shes easier to talk to..

basically everything..

wonder y... *wink*

****************************************************************

im bothered.

sense something is not ryte.

u noe wat? i wont dare to analyse nimore.

simply tired.

anything tat pop out of ma mind..

which cause pain in e heart;

i'll juz breath..=)

coz He noes wats e best for me.

hmmphh...

2009-01-27T21:29:00.002+08:00

imysBL=(

************************************************************

E conversation Again =)

a total of 4 soul..

talkin to me bout "it" again..
in 2 weeks..

hmm..i guess i really nid to get serious on it..

i was called randomly while using e comp...

Him:"what's your problem ziela? just tell me..i cud sense something is bothering u?"

me: "huh? wat u mean? im ok..takder pape lahz =)"

he has been like a father to me..

he noes every part of me..

he noes what lies behind those smile n laughter..

so yaa..only the two of us in the room..

moment of truth i muz sae..

no one realise it...except for him..

even ma parents cud not see it..mayb coz i dun show it?lol..

hmm..maybe its true..

"at tymes u have to be selfish..its for your good.."

i noe..but its easier to sae..but i cant bring maself to do it..=)

im taking a step at a tyme..

i nid some guidance=)

it has been inside me ol this long..

n im glad someone manage see it=)

im done.

************************************************************

5 days of holidae..

been cooking n eatin like theres no tomolo=)

crazziness=_="

been learning how to cook..

nani is so darn good at cookin now i muz sae..

probably bcoz of e past..

is peddling slowly i am..

ouh th per ehk? perlu lah =)

******************************************************************

i noe its not been easy on your side.

i noe u have been holdin it.

i noe u are affected.i dun blame u.

well, at tyme we have to make do with some things.

'Do what you ought and trust what may be.'"

have faith.

love u endlessly sweetheart!=)

______________________________________________________________________________________________

*************************************************" True happiness, to me, does not come when you get something you may be wanting for a long time. It truly comes when you start recognizing what you already have."*********************************************************

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Obstacles are meant to strengthen, not defeat.

We experience hard times when we start forgetting to appreciate what we have.

No matter what challenges you endure, know that it is only to have you remember what you are made of and the power you have to make a difference.

_______________________________________________________

otey...bofore i end everything...

i noe your are enjoyzing watching your transformer love..hee

well..i understand...guys cant multi-task...ouh salah ehk?kk=)

i dunwana disturb you...so im decided to type it out..=)

tho i wana to tok to u badly...hee..

goodnyte love..missing you badly..

5 days of not meeting u..crazziness..

i noe its been hard on u...

its been harder for me too..

i hope u understand...n i noe u do..=)

take care of yourself n dun stay up too late..

meeting you tomolo is i am..yeah!!=)

When you miss me just look up to the night sky and remember, I'm like a star; sometimes you can't see me, but I'm always there.

goodnyte! very much! =)

2009-01-21T12:08:00.003+08:00

had a random talk with cik mas regarding savings.well you noe how hard i am in saving. n for this 2009, saving will be one of ma priority since i juz start on ma career. i nid some motivation in this. really.=)

******************************************************************

smile n laughter is juz on e outside. some may thot that i dun behave like 20yr old lady.hah.

Well,i dun see e nid of you to show every part of your sorrowness around. i think ppl will be all around u wen u r laughin, but wen u shed your tears, few or none wud be dere...n most of them will juz walk off. so ya.

deep down, only god noes=) coz at e end of e dae, He is e only one who cud help u out.

so wateva things that were uttered to me, i wud juz reply it with a smile.

tho it might be a lil ouch,but hah. do i look bothered? i learnt to swallow.=)

sometymes i do reply, not becoz i wana win or lose...coz im affected.

and i thx this kinda ppl coz they will make u realise.

ignorance is bliss. sometymes.

at tymes, some things are not meant to be told.=)

i juz nid strength.nuff saed.

*******************************************************

you might have your salary increment, bonus, n earn few million dollars a month.

but at one point wen u look back, you are olwaes shortage of cash. most of us will encounter this. well i do=)

so where do you go wrong?

knaper orang yg miskin, dorang tak penah sempit. n they olwaes smile=)

keberkatan.

it might be juz a word tat one soul will be like =_="

sometimes, e small things that we thot is nothing, is e cause of everything.

Debt.every single cent do matters.

helping others is perfectly fine.coz u nvr noe wen it will be yours.=)

n bcoz of this few cents of loan u had, happiness will not be around u.

yea, its a faster wae to be rich n u thot u have clear ol your burden.

but u dun even realise that u are juz adding salt to e wound.

u might suffer a lil by clearing ol the debts, but at e end of the dae...

u will lead a better life =)

" You are poor as long as you keep begging.

You are rich as soon as you start giving."

im done=)

********************************************************

im killing those feeling.

im killing those thots.

i have type it out,but im deleting every word.

n im glad that i did.

den i realise im gaining something called

Trust.

*********************************************************

2009-01-20T12:29:00.003+08:00

headache.

tired.

"lingering".

mixed.

dizzy.

angry?

worried.

sleepy.

AS FOR NOW.

And the funny thing is,

wen ol this feelings came,

wen ur feelin so down,

n e fone rang.

n everything changes *=)*

perfect timing.

hmmmm..nice~
current mood: euphoria

yeah!

craving for black chocolate as at 20 jan 2008.

12:52pm.

pure black choc is much appreciated.

When I first held you I was cold

A melting snowman I was told

But there was no-one there to hold before

I swore that I would be alone for ever more

Wow look at you now

Flowers in the windowIt's such a lovely day

And I'm glad you feel the same

Cause to stand up, out in the crowd

You are one in a million

And I love you so

Lets watch the flowers grow

There is no reason to feel bad

But there are many seasons to feel glad, sad, mad

It's just a bunch of feelings that we have to hold

But I am here to help you with the load

Wow look at you now Flowers in the window

It's such a lovely day

And I'm glad you feel the same

Cause to stand up, out in the crowd

You are one in a million

And I love you so

Lets watch the flowers grow

So now we're here and now is fine

So far away from there and there is time, time, time

To plant new seeds and watch them grow

So there'll be flowers in the window when we go!=)

Travis

Flowers in e window.

random strikes.

goodbye!

2009-01-16T16:53:00.002+08:00

Had a short meeting with Ms Ong Wee Wah,General Manager, today.
was abit tense when she called ma name n told me that she wana have a word with me.
butterly in e stomach.
bittng lips.
but nah, why are r u paranoid wen u did nothing wrong..=) so yaa..
came in the room with a smile i am.
well, juz sae its a good news for me? :) im blessed. nuff saed.
when she sae it out, ol i cud sae is "alhamdullilah" =)
tyme for me to really work hard this year for ma career n studies i would sae.
she trust me in handling e task. thx to u n Him.
nvr regret being here=)
despite of ol the mistake that i've done, u still give me "this".
focus is ol i need as for now..
syukur alhamdullilah=) nuff saed.
mum n dad! He's replyin to your prayers.

*Very much in luv with u.=)

2009-01-14T16:39:00.003+08:00

random thots.
***********
wen e mind speak n heart listens=)
**********
words.
they can shoot u.
ryte thru e heart.
sometimes it make sense.well it does to be exact.
those " in 10 yrs tyme" thots.
ryte step taken. was impressed i wud sae.=)
well talkin n blabberin is one thing.
takin an action is another major thing i guess.do u?=)
moments wen mind speak n heart listens.
applause to those plan n thots i wud sae.
at tymes takin a step back is better.
runnin too far to e end?
u will juz end up losing e wae.
takin a step back doesnt mean u will be left behind.
juz letting e mind to tink n lead u to e ryte wae.=)
sometimes action speak more than words.....nuf saed.

sometimes people tend to vomit out every piece of thier plannin life. lettin out wats in their mind. n dun even realise how painful it wud affect a particular soul. sometimes it cud be a wake up call. yes i agree. too much of it..more to heartless creature? i supposed. how an individual manage to do it.awesome=) believe in karma.nuff saed=) never ever think highly of yourself..coz any point of tyme u will sink n no one wud ever care. im done.

juz a random entry..=)

2009-01-14T12:44:00.002+08:00

**us**

time check 12:45pm

having ma break as for now..=)

dun feel like eating coz e leg juz dunwana move but e fingers do! =) ouh tk ehk?kk...=)

so where do i begin...ouh ya..like ive mention on ma previous entry regarding the random meet up with ma dearest mastura:)

relieved n glad.. it has been awhile we have yet to tok about things that have been entering in n out of our life. it was awesome..n im glad you are coping well(mcm tk jugak lahz sebenarnyer kan..lol) wen booboo is awae.well, juz bare in mind that Missing someone gets easier everyday because even though you are one day further from the last time you saw them, you are one day closer to the next time you will.=) otey?.. its a test.=)

so ya..went to have our dinner at banquet n coincidently we met one of our classmate n their table was beside us.. still e same crazy soul i wud sae..=)

talk for a few hours n we dun even realised that its almost 10pm.. more to "serious?!=0 " den "ouh ok..=)" kinda conversation between us...lol..haa..oh salah ehk gal? btol lahz.. ;) so we had to go bek since both of us are werkin e next dae...she was too tired n decided to take a cab..padahal satu bus jer gal..n it took you onli 5 min..haa) well u do look tired..understanding=) sent her to the taxi stand n off to meet nani at marsling MRT station.

Sat with her while waiting for our parents to arrive. nani wana talked to john n i had to pass e fone to her.. went to buy some drinks coz i was darn thirsty n hungry..bought green tea and chocolate(forgot e name of it..nvm)..hmmm...been craving for chocolate lately..is wondering y..=) its otae..dun really care bout calories wen it comes to this*wink* M.P =)

unfortunately, something went wrong during their conversation i guess...wen i came back..she returned the fone to me n walk off... but we did get to meet up at the end of e dae... mood swing i guess..=) tak boleh layankan sgt.. ;) but shes everything to me..too much..=)

***

trip to e zoo=) awesome n enjoyzing! thx Luv!! =D

***

yeah!!! i had truckloads of fun!! but e fact that its not a free entry kinda mek me geram wit u.. we can wait n go lain hari kan...but wateva it is..we went in coz i was informed wen we were

already at e zoo...thx u..very nice=) hmph! very much~~!!=)

ta pao nasi goreng, ayam goreng n paru goreng..ol is goreng2..i like~=) nah..it will be easier... n brought jacobs bizcuit n potato chip..mcm hari rayer jugak sebenarnyer..lol.. nah coz Mr john stomach is very big..(tho u cant see it;P) hehe..nah..juz dunwana him to sae "im hungry..=( " very e heart painin... =) so yaa..it was a pleasant outing i would sae.. more to " wah..." den

" ohhh..." lol.. get to watch the show...hold e snake n took pix wit it..the white tiger( trying hard to snap wen they were catching those meat...well..i did once but e photo was like =_=") so ya..give up! =) had our lunch n we ate ol e goreng2 food..nasib baik sedap..lol ;) went to e loo for awhile n wen im back...hes's gone! ="( i olmost cried.. k i was kiddin.thx u=) thot i went to e wrong wae..LOL..keselengean tak abez2!hee..guess wat..he was ryte behind me=) hmph! tak perlu kan tu..yaa..wonder how i react wen hes not there..lol..luv u too! =) so yaa...went to the butterfly area..nice~! =) feed the goat..n lots lots more...basically it was an awesome dae..blessed=) thx luv..every moment spend with u was nvr wasted..=) we spent almost half a dae..tiring but enjoying! we covered almost everything n decided to go home by 6 plus i guess.. went to the counter to take the "manis" picture..lol.. lovely pix taken! it was so nice..i love it dear..juz wana irritate u..hee.. took e bus home n both dah kepenatan..we took a nap in the bus till yishun MRT...bought prata hotdog..e chocolate prata hotdog was ok for me..doesnt really like it actually..but oklahz..i get to finish it tho..lol! =) went to macdonald n ate cheese cake!! atlast~ ; ) both were like darn tired..saw those red eyes n i noe hes very tired..actually we are..hehe..but he waited for ma parents to fetch me..had our random talk..newspaper..( not the july newspaper=_=" lol. *inside joke*) he drove me off to woodlands..n there goes our lovely outing=) once again..i had a great tyme luv! too much... i may have irrtate u in some parts of your busybody life..=P it was merely a joke..nothing personal tey..very much in love..tasting bliss.nuff saed.=)

we have been buzy with our own schedule..with work n family n friends n resting tyme..n few other probs that has been disturbin u i muz sae=) please indicate "we" n not "I" in your notepad or wateva u kol it tey..=) no hiding inside the box..it will juz "suffocate" u..=)

***

last but not least.. please remember that....He Who Does Not Know How To Live Well,Always Speak Of The Past...=) haa..random..*wink*

***

pix will be up soon!=)

2009-01-12T12:03:00.003+08:00

random qoutes =)
************************************************************************************
Distance doesn't matter if you really love the person, what matters most is your honesty and trust for that relationship to work out.
**
Missing someone gets easier everyday because even though you are one day further from the last time you saw them, you are one day closer to the next time you will.
**
Distance, it is a test, many will fail, but for those who can withstand it have the answer:
true love.

***************************************************************************************************************************************
lots to update, trip at sungei buloh,trip to the zoo,meet up wit dearest mastura,weekend with family n more. dun really have e tyme to update.basically 2009 has been an awesome year for now i wud sae. =) every step taken is blessed wen im with u.=)
well, work has been abit tight up n lots to catch up. hmm..need to slow down on ma speed..at tymes, u tend to do thing too fast n tend to overlook the thing n make mistake. =) haa..dun worry im coping well now n praying hard for success..=)
**

very much in love=)

2009-01-07T17:36:00.002+08:00

the thots that linger to every path.
that lead to nowhere.
well,it came again.haa.
maybe im born with it.
have to make a fullstop to this.
the thots have to end.
P. android.
it kills.n once its started,it will dwell.
so ya.
nah,at tymes it will haunt e soul.
liar if we are not haunt by it.
its how you take it.
haa..
crazziness..
how foolish can i be.
letting those evil wins.
taking a deep breath i am.
sigh.relieved.
walking slowly.
will stop if i have to.
but i will nvr turn back.
at tymes, u will tend do things out of anger.
without even have a thot of the ppl around.
sometimes words were uttered without noein that it may hurt others.
sometimes wen too much of apology will suffocate others.
sometimes you juz feel like keepin silence.
but u cant,coz u juz cant hold to e silence n gap.
sometimes you have to hold back,
but you cant coz you are juz scared that you will be left behind.
sometimes you tried to make them happy,
but u dun even realise that they were hurt.
sometimes you cant stop thinking,
tho you know it will lead to nowhere.
sometimes you wish that u didnt do wat u had,
but u cant coz it has happened.
that is why, think before taking a step ahead.
patience n faith will lead you to the right path.
not emotion n anger.
sometimes this kinda feelings will be for a moment.
it will not dwell.
sometimes you need to trust n not doubt others.
coz by then u will realised having those doubt will not lead you to nowhere.
sometimes you have to believe in whatever situation that you are dealing with.
path of life.it will nvr be smooth.
you may trip n fall again n again.
others will dwell n juz stop e journey n end everything.
some will get up with their head up n move on.
coz they noe,some part of the journey, they gona taste bliss.
they noe wat they have been thru out the journey is juz a test from the Creator.
nothing comes easy.
but dont you ever stop.
sometimes wen you lose, den you will realise how important they are in your life.
treasure,trust n love others with ol your heart.
live by the dae.=)
enjoy every moment spent.
e past may haunt,but dont let it kill your future.
coz you will live miserably.
n nothing will change that except for you.
accept things as wat it is.
nothing n no one is perfect.
why can others read n keep silence? n y muz u dwell n make it as in its their fault?
wake up! =)
sometimes people will take it n swallow.
wen its too much,dont ever let them explode n you will end up regretin.
at the end of the dae,it u who gona deal with it.
you who gona suffer.
so why bother.
stand up , smile , n look forward=)
n for you,
sowie if any part of the moment,the conversation,the action that were given hurt.
i noe its too much.
n i feel it too.
here i am.
hoping that things will be as pure as it is.
i'll stop e doubt.
n start loving u=) ehk! ouh salah ehk?=)
im off from work.
tyme check 6:32pm.
lol.
hmph.feeling better.=)
n John.uve been missed a little plus terribly.err...hmm..yaa.. =P

=)

2009-01-07T12:25:00.005+08:00

im sorie...=(
blog will not be read again.
very much!~ =)

2009-01-06T12:55:00.006+08:00

1 month old =)
hai!!! =) hee..without knowing it has been a month old dear..so smally!=)
how everything started..hmm..too much to even list it down..
the dae when i was hospitalised..n you appeared.. n i dun even intend to look at you..i was feelin real down..with the pain on ma foot..the needle(i cant even wana move ma hand! it was painful tey! =( only god noes how it was)n nina n nazz were
teasing me n saed"someone came to see you!".. n i covered ma whole body with the blanket..dun feel like meeting anyone on that period of tyme..
but i decided to peep n u saw! grrr.. make me even mad! gendeng~ n so i decided to sleep..=)
appointment at the woodlands poly..
the random mit up at at ma houz..
the food..the drinks..
marina barrage..
e wish..
e gift..
e ring..
e adventure moment..
caring soul..
didnt even thot i gona hook into this..
you have been there every moment i nid sum1 to b with..
you were there wen i was down..
you cheer me up every moment..
you touches not only ma soul, but ma family..=)
apologize if any moment that ive done or saed hurt you..
for e first tyme im not afraid to commit..
for you who show me e meaning of trust..
for e first tyme im not afraid to dream..
im tasting e pureness of it..
very much in love=)

N i swear its true...

2009-01-05T12:57:00.002+08:00

very much~=D

currently havin ma break n im juz worried.
i noe you are in pain now gal.
hmmm..be strong n im prayin hard..hoping that everything will go well.
waitin patiently for e kol..or msg..
sayin "everything is ok..shes fine" =)
hmmmm...
take care luv...
im waiting..
nah, everything will be fine..=)

N nurazman..thx for being there..
thx for every moment spent..
im tastin bliss..
very much in love..
nuff saed..
otey!! meetin u later i am!!
hee..
i noe you are havin ur rest now..
rest well luv..
missin many2=)
Hmm...
im waitin for e kol...
hmm..
its not easy, i understand..
=(

2008-12-24T11:21:00.011+08:00

Every moment spent with you is like a beautiful dream come true...very much in love. nothing more.im blessed=)
You may never know how important you are to me or how much I care for you, but you are and you will always be. Bear in mind that I couldnt afford to lose someone I've learned to care about so much.

2008-12-23T07:39:00.003+08:00

e Welcome.
hmmm...first of all let me juz sae im glad that evrythig went smoothly when i went out to have dinner with his family. Lovely family i would sae. united n lots of laughter=) it was a last minute plan when i received a msg from him, saein i will be meeting his parents at jurong point after i end ma werk..i was like...serious shit? shit!...=Phmmm..its a last minute thing..so i rushed out of the office n went to jurong point.. n there ma mind goes..basically, i was scared..really do..only He noes how i felt..=) but alhamdullillahz.. they are not monster..hee..ouh tk perlu ehk? kiddin luv! =)
so yaa..salam his parents n talk to his mum..bout kuih, bout work, bout her work, n everything..lovely mum.. very the kecoh n enjoyzing..=)
so yaa...i was kinda feel bad coz they actually waited for me..hmph! your son informed me last minute..basically not ma fault..hee..=P
he was driving n i sat with his mum...there it goes again..lol! hee.. 5246845 question...n 2684114854952 answer..take care ziela..n nurazman was having fun laughing...very nice~ went to Sakunthala's Restraunt at little india..the food was awesome! =) i had fun.nuff saed.=)

everything changes wen i reached home. it was olmost midnight. dad was mad. he was showing this attitude. didnt expect that to happened. for both side,apologize
for wat had happened. yaa..dad shouldnt have done that. well, i dun blame him for wat happened. he's a father. so just wana make things better, i sat beside him n talk to him nicely. told him where, when n what happened. n why i was late. apologize to him n told him that i wont make him worried again. hmm..thats it.he
hug me n sae dun do it again. i noe, its for ma own good dad.u juz dunwan it to be like a habit to me. i understand wat he meant. so i juz apologize n everything is ok.

i noe you are hurt,you are disappointed ever wat happened.let juz take it like a son n a father thing dear. wat he did maybe a bit harsh but dun hold any grudges coz he means good.dun feel humiliated over wat happened.anger from a dad doesnt last dear. im sorry for wat happened. i hope you dun take it too hard. he love us, thats y hes doing ol this...sowie dear.."very much~"=)
shocked upon received e msges.
hmmm..u shudnt have done that.
well,i understand..at tymes, mind juz not functionin n u tend to do things that u dun even want to..
this is just a small test..
we gona go thru lots more..
wenever we are at our lowest point..
go bek from where we are..
we will nvr get lost..
n it will mek us much more stronger.
believe.
nvr let those anger n revenge suffocate us.
we will regret n "they" will laugh at us,coz they win.
n having to realise, it maybe too late.
very much in love.
=)

2008-12-21T12:08:00.006+08:00

mind kept looking at those PC.
tried to stop.
unfortunately,decided to switch it on.
Seems like i nid to noe more.
seems like someone is whisperin n askin me to.
N there i am again.
at ma own risk again i wud sae.LOL.
nah..for the seek of noein. n i dun think theres any harm.
every word,every pic m every post.
=)
there it is.
sigh.
no no no.
juz for the sake of noein n nothing more.
the past n present.
it will nvr b e same. i Hope.
nothing much to talk about.
dun feel like vomit it out here.
at tymes,its better to keep it between u n Him.
coz at e end of the dae,he noes wats best for u.
ryte?=)
im done!!
signin off.
=)=)=)=)
*it wont move me,not even an inch.trust.'sym2'.*
nuff saed.

2008-12-20T17:47:00.002+08:00

was juz reading the blog and i would sae i kinda get affected wen i read it.i dun blame anyone coz i do it at ma own risk.=) well, things happen for a reason. hmmm..im sowie if ol those images really hurt someone. well, i nvr thot it gona be that wae. im feeling how it feels. shows that you are affected by it. n shows theres still love lingering around you. i mean no harm or do i even want it to be posted. this is one of the only reason y. hah. y did i even apologize in the very first place? nahh...i feel sorry. tats ol.
i wont let it affect any part of maself. im feelin cold wen i read it. the sarcasm..hmm..ouch!.. hmmmm...i dunwana repeat e mistake. being paranoid over e past. well, i enter wen every end.. n i hope it really end..

im tasting bliss. n plzz god give me strength.im paranoid.but i still have faith in u.reading ol those, suffocate me.nuff saed.
i nid strength.
i nid faith.
i nid trust.
i will have ol those 'nid' wen i have sum1.
im feelin so cold.suddenly.hmmm....
off from work. mind not functionin.
n im comin bek 2molo. have to. =)
n i trust u.=)
very much.................~hmmm=)

2008-12-17T11:53:00.002+08:00

**images**
Random check.
changes were made.
wasnt there in the very first place.
similarities.
very.=)
affected by the sight of it i supposed.
i assumed.
well,hopefully everything will be fine.
a pinch of affection.
poison portion.
i admit.
burst those thots wenever it exist.
i will.
coz it lead to nowhere,but e end.
no point. =)
Trust.nuf saed=)

2008-12-16T12:52:00.006+08:00

** Joy n crazziness **

You've Changed My Life

Love,

Thanks for being there when I needed a shoulder to lean on, for patiently listening to my personal problems. Dear, I just want you to know how happy am I to have you in my life and I thank God for that. Thank you for the love and the joy you bring. You've changed my life, and make everything seems so right.

You're the only Soul who gives my heart some excitement and thrills. You taught me how to handle life seriously, you taught me how to solve my problems and to face it without any fear.when I'm with you, I feel no fear, not even a single one.

I know that when you say u do and I admit that I've fallen for you, I know that I wouldn't shed any tears from now on. I love you and that's what I want you to bear in your mind, and it's for keeps for a lifetime. And i really thx God for everything.i really do.. =)

When we love, it isn't because the person's perfect, it's because we learn to see an imperfect person perfectly..

"How Much??..:P
Verrryy muchhh!!"

***MASTura!!***
met ma gorgeous n deaaaresstt Mastura yester at CWP.. it was a random meet up coz i was returning ma storybook... while walkin to the CWP i cud sense that she cud be around cwp n i made a random kol! n yea! she was havin her dinner with booboo..ya sia..i olwaes kol u or meet you wrong timing..but i noe u miss me! walaopun expression kau mcm tak excited..hee..i noe u tired luv..=) n yes! i demand a proper meet up too!i was so excited to meet u gal!wen was the last tyme we met u tell me?? lol! ya ya..it was olwaes me..hee.. n I DID WISH U ON YOUR BDAE TEY!..god..hw cud u accused me..i called you at 6 plus in the morning otey..i miss u dearly..yea! i will see you perform one dae tey~ i will come dear..hmm..it has been awhile..anw,glad you are doing great now..happiness is around u can seein2..hapie for u!! =) n i miss ma karma girls. new year? hopefully i can make it gals. lookin forward for it! =)

2008-11-25T17:31:00.005+08:00

Random thots.

at tymes, you will tend to sit bck n think wat things will be like in 5 yrs tyme..
how you wana handle your life n how you gona be financially n emotionally..
sometimes lot of sacrifices you will have to go thru to achieve wat you want..

20 yrs old will be around the corner..
tyme past without you even realising it..
but im blessed with wat was given to me..
the pain,the joy=) it juz make me stronger..
n lots of thing tat i still hoping to have in life..
stability..
im just worried bout ma job i wud sae..
i am on mc for about 2 months for minor surgery that i have to go thru at ma feet..
currently im on crutches..but i will never complaint wat i go thru..
this is the Test from Him.. he is testing ma patience n faith..
im strong now..i will nvr forget wat was given..
but at tymes.. i do make mistake..coz still a human..n will never failed to make a mistake..

N wen i am in pain..u gave me someone to ease the pain..
you show me wat sacrifices is...willingness.. n kindness..
you give me someone to brighten up my dae that was olmost dark..
that i almost give up..
well..im not sure whether this will be another test from U..
but i cud see e light ahead of me whenever it came in ma mind n sight..
i juz wish this will be the end..
but if it fall again..it wouldnt be easy..but i will have to swallow..n will nvr complaint coz.......

"When You Feel Down Because You Didn't Get What You Want,Just Sit Tight And Be Happy,Because God Is Thinking Of Something Better To Give You. " :)

for the very first tyme..i am not afraid to hope..
crazziness i muz sae.
hmmmmm.......
at tymes, somethin hold me back...
e 5min of silence..
n e sudden dwell on e past from u...
that hold me bek from walking forward..

misses.
enuf saed..
=)

2008-11-09T12:14:00.003+08:00

the guardian angel..

filled with mother love..

humourous..

pleasant in e eye..

sacrifices were made..

touches the heart of beholder..

"THANK YOU"

End werk at 8am from spore..

went to jb straight to pick the patient i wud sae..

having to work at 8pm..

12 hours work..

crazziness..

merely to support the family..

went to the polyclinic..

dressing..

e deep wound..

in tears of pain when they did it..

ouch..

i juz have to bite the nurse hand to control those pain..

went out..

the first person i saw..

having olwaes to make a smile upon e face..

nicely done..

obedient..

respect the elderly..

nice~ sense of serenity..

spontanious..

will there be another tyme?

i wish..

2008-11-02T10:59:00.003+08:00

you are too pushy.
by ma dearly sis.
went bek to the room.
yea.
make sense.
ma apology.
at tymes..went daes goes by..
it will tend to be too much..
overcome this.
i will.
fading off,trust me.
not appreciated.
temper n ignorance tend to be on top of e head.
socialise level increases.
stagnant mood.
im not weak.
i wont weep.
i wont hope.
couldnt careless.
not even abit,not even at ol.
He mek me stronger now.
im blessed.
=)

2008-10-30T15:32:00.003+08:00

We dont remember the daes, but we remember the MOMENTS.=)

Was walking down memory lane,

Was walking on the beach,

Throttling the feelings of pain,

Keeping doubts out of reach.

*==================================*

Had a look at the sands of time

The hours when time itself stood still,

Could hear distant bells chime,

And I was walking while I still stood still.

*===================================*

Felt the heat of the sun beating,

Could sense an awe that the past left,

Saw the sheath of life fleeting,

Glimpses of what was there were best.

understanding in life.

too general.

too deep.

too cliche.

having to understand individual.

having to blend wit every bit of the individual life.

or emotion i would specify.

possible,but will nvr be easy to.

problems in life is like a shadow.

we can nvr run away from it.

e faster we run away from it, the nearer we are.

so why waste our tyme? step forward n overcome those problem.

coz in e very first place, we create it.

pain,suffering,tears,etc.

juz for a moment.

wen those problem of your vanished.

you can face the world wit your head high up.

matter of tyme.

tied by those rope.

mouth was tape.

leg was tied.

everything were controlled.

at tymes, someone may push u in those mud n laugh.

n u thot its a joke.n u laugh.

the next tyme it happen, it may still be a joke.

u lie if there no anger buried inside.

but you prefer to swallow.

juz to show them that you dun really mind.

emotionally not involved.

and they tend to take advantage and repeat it again.

you juz blow.

explode.

n they sae...

its a joke..

too emotional or sensitive..

cool down..

it was nvr been this wae..

not understanding..

bullshit.

theres a line for everything.

n tolerance..theres a limit too.

===================================================================

aniwae, tihs is the only wae to vent things out. some may understand n some may juz contract the brow in displeasure.in a word,frown. Well, we cant please every individual in life cud we? Your sae.

"Manage to stand on those nail still."

2008-10-25T11:07:00.002+08:00

SINGER'S MOTHER KILLED.

The mother and brother of Jennifer Hudson were found shot dead Friday at a South Side home, and police were looking for a missing child who is the nephew of the singer and Oscar-winning actress.

Deeply sowie for what had happen. terribly shock upon hearing the news. n th fact that Hudson recently announced her engagement to David Otunga, best known for his stint on VH1's reality show "I Love New York." this unexpected news will not be easy for her to accept the fact. shes a family oriented person and she is very close with her lovely mother.

2008-10-24T21:49:00.002+08:00

e shelter.

walking by the alley..

n found my shelter of hope..

i was pondering..

should i knock on those doors?

n having to realise..

ma feet had brought me to the entrance..

i cud sense..

e warmth..

the comfy..

and lastly, i cud sense your breath..

i step in the house..

e warmth..

e welcome...

im blessed..

unfortunately..

ma mind went blank..

everything went stagnant..

a real straight line..

no up n down..

n having to realise that..

i dun feel comfy n warmth anymore..

its not the house..

or is it juz me who tend to get sick..

of the surronding?

the environment?

or....

===================================================================
i hate it wen i juz cant gain e trust from this ppl anymore. i hate it wen i cud sense the honesty, the pureness but i cant hold it for long. i hate it wen you chase wen i ran but u walk away wen i stop n wait. i hate wen i cud sense it.

2008-10-23T12:19:00.007+08:00

let me sae this...

What gets me through the day.....

knowing that tomorrow will be 10x‘s better

what makes me smile....

knowing that Im not alone=)

What makes me different....

taking criticism,hatred,and jelousy from hostile people.

What makes me different....

feeling what most peoPle dont and crying when most people wont..

(",)

I asked you if I was fat,

you said yes of course.

I asked you if you wanted to be with me forever,

you said no.

I asked you if you would cry if I walked away,

you said no.

I had heard too much, and need to leave and

as I walked away..

You grabbed my arm and told me to stay.

You said...

U r not pretty, U r beautiful.

The only thing fat, or big, about you is your heart.

I don‘t want to be with you forever, I need to be with you forever.

And I wouldn‘t cry if you walked away...I would die.

Done.=)

Paddle of hope?

i wont paddle the boat.

i was so worried tat it would sink like it did.

i was breathless,n i thot i wud die.

well,god is being fair.

giving me bek ma life.

giving me the boat to continue ma journey.

should i paddle?

or shud i juz depend on the wave tat lead me to nowhere.

staring at paddle..

but not having e courage to...

i need the paddle to continue the journey..

but i am paranoid tat i wud sink..

n if i do..

i noe i wud be out of breath n ma soul will linger around..

leaving ma body in the isolated island..

trust is ol i need..

the paddle?

left untouched....

2008-10-22T12:15:00.003+08:00

Thumbs Up for Eagle Eye=)

awesome!
lovely action movie=)
went to CS straight from work to book the tix.
reached at 830pm n kol muhd..
he was on his wae to CS.
So decided to buy the tix first while waiting for him.
so we have 1 more hours to go.
walk around CS..
drag him to MPH. since u asked me whr i wana go=)
after a few mins he cant take it.
LOL.
showed him this poetry book. lovely~
n we go off. walk around.
we talk alot rather then looking at things around us.
n we dun even realise 1hr has passed..
went in at 940pm..n e movie started around 10pm..
n theres one part of the movie.
that really mek me go =_="
its like a slap on ma face. N muhd juz laugh n give this smile.
so not necessary~ n i juz stop eating those popcorn..=)
but atleast "u noe" now ryte? lol!
there's few msges from ersyad tho i told him im in e cinema..
muhd get irritated.
took ma fone n keep it. =_=' sowie=(
movie ended at 12am..
went to e carpark n he sae he park his car at B1..
but it wasnt there.. =S
we look for it..n i know he luper where he park his car..
N i dun believe it will be stolen..crap!
in the end he recalled..
B2..see~ =) so who is e forgetful soul now?.. =)
so yaa..
decided to go to "susuk"..
scary but they are gorgeous.. =)
i was amazed actually..seriously...
n he sent me home..
LOvely night spent but i dun elaborate much.
coz currently im juz feeling pissed.
DONE.

2008-10-08T12:39:00.002+08:00

The Day!

Back from the ISO 9001 -Quality Management System Requirements and the OHSAS 18001 - Occupational health and safety management system meeting. today is the official auditing day for our company and i am really tense coz i will be reaponsible for the internal audit. crazziness. but yea. having the responsibility to do it, i have to perform the duty well. n alhamdullilah for half of the dae( half dae jer), it went pretty well. but there's another 2 more daes to go. tu lagi satu masalh.. but nvm.. juz be confident and act like u know everything regarding the company. sometimes its the wae u talk n bring yourself that makes the different.. =) MP=_="

Work load has been haunting me every single dae. seriously, there will be no end to your work..tho u did like half of the task..wen u review ur plate,its still the same load.. so its like a cylcle..it will add on to your plate ever single dae.. without u realising it.. but heck care.. you are not the only one having this life..theres worse out dere..so chill n eat your load "plate" slowly.. =)
feel tired? juz move your chair to your colleague n talk to them.. or go to your blog n update..vomit everything out~ huhur..

hari rayer celebration? hmm.. only a day was spent..went out with ma family..we dont really went to visit our cousins coz we saw them during the gathering at my grandmother house..so ya.. and add on to ma father couldnt-be-bothered.. n this couldnt-be-bothered sickness is very contagious..seriously sia~ especially to ma family..godness =) but im trying hard to cure this sickness.. tho mcm tak boleh pon ader.. =_="

confession moment

every single question was answered

vows were made

sigh and silence was the only replied given

upon hearing the truth..

dissapoinment..

well..

i started this "game"

swallowin every bit..

argument was held upon hearing those lies..

dumb me.=_="

nvr dwell on the past..yea..

another confession moment was held..

bliss. nuff saed.

just know e ryte tyme to cure those pain

glad that everything ended in a nice wae..

the more im running away from ol this..

the nearer i am.

His Will.

but sad to sae..

im still running awae from this..

at tymes, u have your own reason for every step u take..

yaaa....hmmm..

2008-10-07T11:56:00.008+08:00

Selamat Hari rayer!! :D

unfortunately i was having a BAD fever on

FIRST DAE OF RAYER~ =_="

unlucky?. i noe.

with my gay voice.

n ma headache.

but overall.. i had fun! :)

the bongsu=_="

ma-forever-giving-me-advise in life..

one reason y i manage to step in the masjidil haram :)

20,19 n 19. ;)

irritatin but lovable angel. =)

2008-10-03T11:14:00.005+08:00

E gathring moments.(bliss)

one of the awesome celebration ive always look forward to.
e day when u will meet up with all your love ones.
but unfortunately, i dun really had lot of funs with ma cuzin.
coz ma working schedule..
well, i dun blame anyone for this..
this is working life..ryte ppl?=)~
to be frank..i miss ma KL & shah alam(if im not wrong.mcm salah pon ader.tp tkpe.)cuzin.
last year was better i guess. more tyme were spent together.
yeaaa..last year im schooling.so i have ol e tyme to spent wit them.
but Pok Long didnt get to rayer ing with us last year..again,minus point.=(
im looking forward for this year rayer ing bcoz e fact that i cud meet up with ma-once-in-a-year-cuz.
seriously i was hell excited.
but too bad, i was having this irritating headache,ma throat is killing me! i cud not eat or drink those drinks n spicy food..upset ryte? i noe!!
WEDNESDAE.
went to ma grandma houz at woodlands(will update e pic soon)
meet ol ma siblings..
ol was like.."ehk! nie ziela??" takk perrluuu...=_="
i was like..."haha..yerr~" takkan lahz niek nyanyi dier kan(ma grandma)
eat some cookies,drink hot plain water(n it feel so sucky to drink it wen the others having ol kind of colourful drink)
well, i tried, but i start to cough every min for juz a sip of F&N strawberry=_="
went to mastora house..n off we go..
THURSDAE.
Working. start at 830am till 7pm. coz theres too much work..supposedly it should end at 530pm. so ya. i was kinda excited to go home n meet ma cuzin!
rushed home..took e taxi n i reached at 10pm.
darn tired. ma head juz wana explode. ma throat,worse.
from 5am ok..i was so sleepy..
but decided to eat and chill with eki,ershad,eqmal,gegel n nani..

godnoes how excited i was to see them.<3
went to lido and chill till 4am..
by 2am i was half dead..
i dun talk much coz it feels like someone is sitting on top of ma head.headache.
i was so weak.but the fact that i wana chill with this once-in-a-year-cuz juz make me stronger.
we ate steamboat.n its like tak cukup2..

i suppose to treat ershad for his bdae, since they suggested lido,den i juz agreed.

it may not be e wahlah bdae treat ever.

it cud be a lameness bdae treat ever.

but it the thots that counts ryte?..

setahun skali tu..ok per..

but the tyme juz doesnt seeems ryte,its olready 1am n there's not much choice..

but almost 7 to 8 plates sia! lol
but it was just a short chill out i guess.
maybe becoz i was not feelin well,tats y i dun really had fun.
n its sucky coz e other tyme u gona chill out wit them will be october 2009!=_="
alahzz..atleast we do meet up n chill..
sometimes, less is more =D

it feel weird.

theres a reply but no eye contact.

it feels weird wen i always waited for the dae, but it doesnt turn out the wae it used to.

it feels weird wen u ignore, but every question that i asked, was answered by u.

it feels weird that im feelin worried.

it feels weird coz theres tears during farewell.

it feels weird wen theres conversation, but theres simply no eye contact involve.

it feels weird wen i caught u staring.

it feel weird wen we cud be so close but wen we meet up, it seems like we nvr had a conversation.

tho we always had it every single dae.

i feels weird coz i really miss u hell much.

it feels weird that u were waiting for ma comeback.

it feels weird that u keep calling for maa return.

it feels weird coz i dun even noe where it goes wrong.

'goodbye'seems so hard coz i hv yet to sae 'hai' to u..

it feels weird tat i am affected by it.

it feels weird coz im hurt.

n it feels weird tat theres much to sae,but less tyme to spent.

n it feels hurt to realise that we will meet up for the next coming year.=_="

maybe i dun show that im excited,coz ma head is killing me at tat period of tyme.

u cud simply tell by ma his/she voice.

but god is always fair.

maybe wat happen, theres hikmah ryte. yea.

n god noes how much i always waited for this gathering.

n how much i miz u truckloads.

2008-09-23T10:31:00.005+08:00

23rd september 2008

the blessing dae
maybe it could be this dae?
but no one noes..
that's e beauty of it.=)

once the cell phone was answered

i sense

breeze of irritation..

hah,ol i did was for ur own good.

here im standing

with ma head up

whispering

to ma mind..

ma soul..

i wont be paranoid like i used to.

n i wont get affected by those

tiny miny ouh-please-its-ma-fault-ouh-plz-forgive-me.

=_="

no point.

wana play this game?

i'll quit before it get started.

its not about cowardness.

its about how smart u play e game.

ma mind start to ponder now.

nearer to the exit point.

once ma feet step out

e door will be lock..

n i wont return n beg for the key.

fortunately,i cud still hold on.=)

2008-09-16T11:49:00.004+08:00

Ma Lungs.

currently: Having Break in e office =)) 12:12nn

so here it goes...
so yaa..
n somehow i feel like sharing bout this..
past few daes..or months i would sae..
ma intimacy wit ma family was much appreciated..
family bonding was wat i always wanted..
n im glad that ol of us are together now..
maybe bcoz of fasting month.. blessed month.. :)
most of our weekends were spent together..
paint the house..
and every one of us help out..
even this little-2yr old-but-act-like-20yr old-kid brush those walls..
he will paint one corner of the house...
n mumble to himself..
like paham only..
and when we approached him n asked "muhd tau paint ker?"
he will look at you..and reply ... "aahhh...."
n continue wit his 'task'..
hee..adorable kid.. muackz!
as for me..i will be the corner-gal...i will touch up the corners wen dad finish his part..
n ma second sis will kinda help out to...
n ma elder sis will be the forever-giving-comment...hee..
n LASTLY..
the boss..Ma MUM! haa..
she will ORDER...
n wen we ask her to help out..
there goes the Inhaler..Huhur..n we ol will be like..
"tadi takder paper.,..nak tolong jer asthma dtng.."haha
ma dad will be "kerjer nak meeeniiiipuuu jer.." haha.. in a joking wae of course..
tats y i so loving fasting month..
the beauty of it...oh ya..n we change our main door too~
the door that ma parents olwaes dream of..
always complain to me how much they always want to hv those glass doors wen they pass those houses..
n hearing that juZ mek me wana weep..
and Alhamdullilah.. thier dreams became reality=))
its juz a matter of tyme..ryte dad? :)
n im sooo loovingg those doors..
mek me wana be home every minute..
k tipu..=_="
hari rayer will be a blast i hope..
i juz cant wait for those moment..
n im so waiting for ma once-a-yr-meet-up cuzin..
im so missingg them..
n i cant wait for the last ten daes of the month..
those period..
every minute is precious.=))
sometimes theres argument in the house..
so bad that no one dare to sae anything..
n the wonderful thing is..it doesnt last for 24hrs..
tats one of the most reason i love them

no matter how bad it is..
we will end up gather together
n have those laughter..
n im so glad that our family is together as one now..
n im prayin hard everydae for this..
coz having us together like this..
juz make ma life complete..
thx god for this.really.

<3

olryte im gettin bek to werk~ n tomorow im going geylang with mastura anuar.yea true anak anuar..huhur..has been awhile..huhur..miz u love!! muahx~ =) cyaz!

adios

2008-09-15T16:26:00.005+08:00

*The Strength*

laughter for every second
till e dae
worst argument was held
fuming
individuals ego
juz too much
calls were not answered
msges were ignored.
one moment,
kol were answered once
everything was at ease
upon hearing e voices
both were trying hard

anger cud last for few mins
it juz hv to stop dere.
laughter has alwaes been been our companion.
we juz cant fight,cud we?

gettin nearer from e place i olways wanted to run away from
Godwill.
=))
u came back.thx u

2008-09-10T15:21:00.003+08:00

rotting at home?

pressure handling documents at work?

cant wait to end classes?

simply bored..

here u go..

to make your dae ..

coz this entry juz mek ma simply tiring,pressuring.boring dae BETTER~

In Singapore , the majority of us live in Highly Dangerous Buildings (HDB),

And most people have already got used to Paying and Paying (PAP).

Not only do you have to pay, you Pay Until Bankrupt (PUB).

If that's not enough, somebody still Purposely Wants to Dig (PWD) and get more from you.

So what more can you do when you are in the Money Only Environment (MOE)?

With the current Mad Accounting System (MAS),

you are forced to Pay the Sum Ahead (PSA) ;

Which will leave some people Permanently Owing Some Banks (POSB) ;

And forced to live on the Loan Techniques Always (LTA) system.

When you fall sick and happen to be admitted to a Money Operating Hospital (MOH),

You might be able to use your Cash Prior to Funeral (CPF) fund.

If you are out of luck, you may meet doctors who Never Use Heart (NUH) to treat you;

And you will be Sure to Give up Hope (SGH).

To help ease the traffic, motorists have to pay Cash On Expressway! (COE).

If that doesn't help, they can always Eternally Raise Prices (ERP) on the road.

If you don't own a car, you can always make a Mad Rush to the Train (MRT),

OR get squashed in a bus Side By Side (SBS).

Lastly, under all these pressures, there are not many places we can relax,
not even the good old place we used to go because it has become

So Expensive and Nothing To See Actually (SENTOSA)!!!

=))

GAGS!

2008-09-10T10:33:00.004+08:00

morning 'weep'

"it's 05.45am..wake up ziela!!"

upon hearing it..

"wat?? no!! im late~"

actually not really that late for work..

just that i will be rushing..

n i cant take ma own sweet tyme to enjoy e morning breeze =)

And i realise that i forget to inform ma mum to wake me up at 5am..

coz e past few daes i cudnt fast..so decided to wake up abit late..

so ya..n she thot that i still cant..

so there it goes ma sahur..

kept silence coz i noe its ma fault for not informing them =_="

tsk!

but i do whine and whine sae i will be late..

ans ask ma mum y she didnt wake me up..

n theres one point of tyme she SHOUTED..

n i was like " ok ok ok..dah dah.." =_="

pandaikan..saper suroh irritate? abeh lambat~ :(

had ma bath..

iron mA clothes..

hang it..

pray for subuh..

bla bla..

n i told ma father to open e weekend coupon for todae.. =))

so why is it 'morning weep' ehk??

oh ya~

i was mad coz i need to walk from at the custom for e past few daes..

everydae without failed..

its like 15 to 20 min walk..

fast walk mind you..

and when i go home..

i nid to do that too..coz of e jam..

n wen im home..im like half dead..

super tiring..

tho im super hungry..

i juz cant bring maself to eat.. =(

why i hv to do that?

bcoz of..nah..some 'reason'..

so yaa..this morning..

before i go to werk..

i salam ma mum and suddenly i cry..

like really cry..

coz im tired .. and add up to the mood swing i had recently..

i told her i cant take it with e change( e reason)..

coz it affect me soo much..

so she console me..

BUT she end it like "Tulahz..mak dah kejot siang2..

krng kalo bangun pagi..blala..

tinggalkan rumah bulat2..blabla..tau kejer pagi..blabla.."

=_="

no mum enuf.not again~~

so ya..salam her..kiss her forhead n quickly went off..

haa..

(if u dun whine..i will stay for a few mins mum. =) )

so yaa..went in the car..

another problem..

"wheres ma ear piece? i put it in e car yesterday"

astaghfirullaahalazzim ~

thats e first thing i did when another prob came in..

i noe its juz an earpiece..

i juz bought ma fone..

n i cant afford to lose it ok..

so ya..

i did "something"..(will do it whenever im tryin to find ma things)

ryte nani? she noes~huhur..

n it really do good.. =)

guess wat? its in ma mum's bag..

she kept it yesterdae..

well its a good thing that i found it..

luv u mum~ ur olways dere to help me <3

so ya..reached office at 740 AM..

siang pulakz..haa..

but its a good thing..i manage to clear some of ma pending documents..

wake up a fren of mine at 8am..

"5 mins more"..

can bargain summore.. =_='

nvm..im feelin u..hee

had a few mins of conversation..

few min of laughter.. =))

n there it goes..

n its only in e morning..

afternoon n nyte to deal with todae~ hah.

its not that bad tho after ol..

n i miss home badly..

weekend break is much appreciated..

e buker ing with ol e family members on the dining table..

with Aqief.. n his cuteness..

us : " sayang mama sampai maner..?"

Him : "HAAATTIIII~~ "(tapping his heart)

n i miz him nw.great. =_="

work has been pretty good :)

patience n a pinch of ignorance is much appreciated for nw.

looking forward for tonite trawih=)

adios~

2008-09-09T15:21:00.004+08:00

Wal Mart Applicant revealed...
Below is an actual job application that this 75 year old senior citizen submitted to Walmart in
California . They hired him because he was funny..... =)

NAME: Kenneth Way (Grumpy Old Bastard)

SEX: Not lately, but I am looking for the right woman (or at least one who
will cooperate)
DESIRED POSITION: Company President or Vice President. But seriously,
whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be
applying here in the first place

DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz
style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can
haggle.
EDUCATION: Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.
PREVIOUS SALARY: A lot less than I'm worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and
post-it notes.
REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.

HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.
PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m. Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more
intimate environment .
MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be
here?

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU
FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 lbs.?: Of what?
DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be
'Do you have a car that runs?'

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may
already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes, so they
tell me.
DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job - no! On my breaks - yes!

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FI VE YEARS?:
Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde
supermodel who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually,
I'd like to be doing that now.
NEAREST RELATIVE: 7 miles

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST
OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Oh yes, absolutely.

***Old People Rock! ***

GAGS! =)

2008-09-09T13:39:00.002+08:00

CURRENT MOOD : Affected/frustrated over e smallest things on earth.

no specific reason.

juz the mood swing that irritates.

could be the red light that came n made a messed of the whole emotions.

could be someone who tries to test the patience that has already reaches "over ma nose length".

tryin hard to control every part of the emotions from blowing.

"month of fasting, controlling e emotions is very much appreciated ziela."

currently this fuming-every-minute-emotions will end soon when the red light changes to green.

this irritation will be overcome sooner or later.

having to hold on will make me weep.

weepin of anger of course.

so what did i do to calm it down?

stopping maself from communication FOR E TYME BEING.

yea i noe its not a good solution,well it is for me. so that i wont get effected over the words that were uttered out. tho it means good. dump?i noe. =_='

and "istighfar" like as much as i can. coz thats e only way to kill that evil who has been stabbing me from inside out. i hate u for life(dont u want tranquility?). n everyone does.i noe.=_="

having to have a friend to let ma anger out. pity u. LOVE u tonnes coz having those patience to listen to me. every nyte having to dig those ears to listen to ma non-stop-complainin-makcik.

thx god for having u back in ma life.i really do. =))) ya, u noe that.

but not for listenin to ma only whining of coz=_=". you juz make e dae better.

Thank you love =)

warmth regards,

.embrace.

(not necessary,i noe=_=")

2008-09-04T16:16:00.005+08:00

Ok. This time round, it isnt ziela updating but ehem,ehem, the cousin. Because shes currently busy doing her work, namely the invoices and etc. kesiann. haha.

Let me tell you this. This girl uh is so fickle minded seyy. I dont even know how many times i did for her blog. Penat tau layan kan karenah dier. Luckily i aint schooling nor working just yet, but just rot at home, thats why im helping her out sincerely. No joke.

Whatever it is eyy, shes the bestEST cousin i ever had. Like seriously. Shes my laughing gas, shes where i most of the time release my stress. Thanks you girl. Sayanggg deii lorrhh!

Actually she didnt expect me to update this but photos. Photos of maya karin's weds. Yes, sebanyak-banyak nye tuu. Obsessi seyy. haha. Ok-ok. I also have my obsession. ssshh.. But of course, i'll pick some. If you want all the pictures, ask from her. nyahahahaha!

Ok.Ok. Kiter ikot permintaan hati dier. Bongsu katekan...

Oooppss!

Charlow bette!

♥irfunny

2008-09-04T12:28:00.004+08:00

Haaa..yea! selamat pengantin baru..
ya i noe it has beeennn awhilee..=_="
but a colleague of mine juz sent it to me..
look at her..happy for her lahz..
shes been wanting n waiting for this moment. =)
n u look perfectly...extremely gorgeous..
love those cake..
Simple n sweet is their theme..
excuse me wit the "gua.com" or wateva its writen..
i have no idea wat it is.. =_="
love her personality..
simply simple n humble =))
7 yrs of relationship i guess..
n not a single media knows about it..
awesome isnt it? its juz her..
k lahz..
ol e best for your future life..
Hes soooo lucky to have her..huhur
fated.
=D

2008-08-27T13:19:00.004+08:00

Fasting will be next week..

n i cant wait for those daes to come..

AND..

hari raya too=))

pics of last year hari raya celebration.

shotage of 2 angels,

SITI NOR ZIlLA

SYAZA KAMALIAH.

Full House is much appreciated

for this year.

2008-08-27T12:25:00.003+08:00

*iece tools for anger management *

i dun care wat other think.

coz i write wat i feel like.

n whoever think they noe who am i implying to.

one thing i gona sae

" u noe nothing.so dun analysis"

fullstop.

here i am sittin and werkin like hell shit.

n there you are watching videos at you tube and doing nothing.

what crap is this???

seems like everything is being pass to me.

like wat ISO, GPS, CATCHING N FOLOW UP ON INVOICES.

YES...

i am mad..

silence doesnt mean im not affected.

n "yes" doesnt mean i gona hand it to you on e spot.

i have ma own task to do to..

n so do you.

simple scanning u dun expect me to do it for you.

yes i noe..

im weak in sayin NO.

I realised that..

wat is this??

at first i thot i could help u out WITH YOUR LOTS OF TASK..

u claim..

but hey...

direct me and demand on the documents..

when u saw wat i have to do..

im swallowing it down and when i saw wat u r doing..

its killing me inside..

im blowing..

ma heart is burning..

ma eyes is fuming..

yes..at first i can help you out wit little things..

but now i have ma own things to do that wat given by the general manager.

n I NOE U NOE.

one word. PLS COMPROMISE.

thats ol im askin for..

im so frustrated that i just wana weep now.

infact i am weeping now.

why??

im prayin hard to god to make me strong..

He gave me this job.

n wateva shits i been thru..

ader hikmahnyer..

Thinking Of HIM, juz make me stronger..

coz no one could help me out..not even ma parents.

i juz need HIM.

to make me strong.

to make me pursue ma dreams.

juz need him to listen to ma sorrowness.

ma prayers.

and im glad He does.

ps: havin a thot of HIM juz calm ma anger down. yea. "this is juz a test" .

Just Breathe. =)

2008-08-26T11:49:00.003+08:00

Awesome KL trip. 3 SURVIVOR.

went to KL with ma sis n cuz.three survivor kid. we really explore wat we saw. such a great moment spent. going overseas without your parents guidiance is a Thumbs Up=) bukit bintang,pavillion, petaling street, masjid india, ol kind of lorong and warong and lots n lots of free market=)god~ u can go crazy there..i really love it too much=DD

reached KL at 6am.. walk2 n had our breakfast~ check in at 12noon.. imagine walking around wit your big luggage..maner nyer foreigner jer...hee.. but that makes e journey fun..... rest n went out at 2pm...went out till 3am..catch midnight movie..the stranger...(or can i sae dun waste money on this show?) but inspired by a true story...oklahz..still unsolved. phobia is much appreciated. but no slot for that.too bad~ Puma outlet is another thumbs up..i almost stayed there for an hour.(i so gona purchase once ma salary is up,n im so gona go to KL once again) went to A&W. yaa..has been awhile n i really had fun wit the waffle n root beer wit vanilla ice cream.. ate Ikan bakar(ikan kembong and ikan pari) ate at republic..ol those non-halal food in spore... we tried in KL=D awesome..finger licking~ huhur...

passby e clubs..hmm not that facinated by e enviroment..lookin at the area juz suffocate me..so ya..ma poin of view anyway..
live band concert was much appreciated over there. awesome performance=One of the bestest moment spent.listenin to coldplay song juz make me wana jump over grab those mic.
however, i juz decided to Sit back enjoy e soothing melody..hee.. lots n lots of places we went to..sheesha cost you barely 15rm..yea~ crazy nite out..seriously..lots of arabian ladies..SUPER GORGEOUS.. juz envy their beauty..but alhamdulillah wit e beauty given to me =)

n wherever u step your feet to...theres always a place for you to perform your duties to HIM..they even have a surao at e carpark.. awesome~ a muslim cuntry.thats e beauty of it =)

OUH YA..we stayed in a guesthouse.."THE HAVEN" .. n its really heaven..surround wit wooden tops..theres a readin corner..n a snooker.. n u can sit n use e free internet connection..
average n i think i prefer this kinda environment compared to those luxury hotel=))

I promise maself that will go to that place again wen i really save up ma 3 months pay n really go crazy over dere.goin alone is nvr a problem for me=)) hee..

2008-08-06T13:38:00.000+08:00

6th of August.
lots of things in mind.
having to let it out will somehow lighten up the load.
yea.
juz wana talk some sense out of maself.
something that will turn u ppl to go like "huh?" or "ouh ok" or wateva your thots would be :)

so ya.life has been good.
flowing well.
tho heard a few unexpected news from beloved family.
but hey, this is juz a small test from Him.
be strong n hAve Faith.
all of us have different kinda problem. n its how u manage to handle it.
faith n patience is ol it takes.
STOP DWELLING.
no point shouting n blaming others :)
in e end of e dae,u dun get to solve any of it.
looking forward is ol it needs to solve e unsolved problem.

so wat ma plan ahead..haa
hmm..
seems like i hv step to e right place
n im really thanking god for this.
n ma faith is gettin stronger right after those daes.
n im not gona let it slip away..
coz this is wat ive always wanted before,but i was unable to see those lights.
n wat i did? ignore.
n now,e door is right infront of me..
im steppin in n lettin go wat i have to.
n wateva happen, it is for GOOD. n i alwaes believe in that.
He noes better wats e best for us. :D

hopefully pursuing back in ma studies works.who wont take those opportunity if its 100% sponsor by e company. yea, we will plan, but in e end of e dae He'll decide. so i juz dunwana elaborate more on it since wat we have now, is juz a plan. n im praying hard for this moment to be granted. :)

"you will lose something, if u wana gain something" (k e sentence somehow doesnt sound right,as long as u noe n i noe.tats enuf :P) so yaa..i kinda miss out those moments wit part of ma friends. i mean, i really lose out alot. hmm..sad? of course i am. i do weep for them coz they will nvr b forgotten. n i really miss wat they used to call themselves F.U.N . haa..i really do. ryte from e dae i start ma job. thot of keeping it to maself doesnt seem to work i guess. coz e moment spent,*Priceless*. well,life have to move on ryte? like ive said, wateva happen ader hikmah =D coz now i met up wit ma long lost friend,out of a sudden we are close now. hes a nice, crazy, full of nonsense ideas to make u laugh like deres no tomolo. thx pal! u did a good job.haha~
*Feelin so alive*

2008-08-04T13:18:00.000+08:00

The whispers turn to shouting
The shouting turns to tears
Your tears turn into laughter
And it takes away our fears

So you see, this world doesn't matter to me
I'll give up all I had just to breathe
The same air as you till the day that I die
I can't take my eyes off of you

And I'm longing, for words to describe how I'm feeling
I'm feeling inspired
My world just flip turned upside down
It turns around, say what's that sound
It's my heart beat, it's getting much louder
My heart beat, is stronger than ever
I'm feeling so alive, I'm feeling so alive

Yea.=D

k guess i gona stop updatin ma blog for e tyme being. seriously no time. so ya..n ma tagboard is gone..for no specific reason..n i juz cant be bothered.huhur.

been buzy wit werkin. juz got a letter of confirmation n theres increment. blessed. increment is one thing..doing a good job is another thing. i really wana continue ma studies since e company wana sponsor me.so ya. hopefully god grant ma prayers~ ive been wanting to do this=) thos lots n tonnes of werk in e office, im enjoyin maself!

k see ya~ wonder who still read ma blog.. almost dead.. pfft :

signin off =D

2008-07-16T12:49:00.000+08:00

havin ma break now.

cant wait to go home.

goin to A.W again todae :)

gona break ma fast there.

wif ma crazziness pal.

i can be like one idiotic gal wen hes around :)

silence for few years.

n ur back. fated i believed.

can i go home??

i feel like goin to e gym now.random.

ouh tkyah ehk?kk

2008-07-15T12:26:00.000+08:00

i juz adore e pureness of it.

i juz adore e crazziness of it.

i juz adore e laughter wihout any specific reason.

i juz adore e lameness of it.

i juz adore e silence without any awkwardness.

i juz adore e purely friendship :)

i juz adore e random kol n mit up.

n e fact tat theres no shyness.

n watever happen.it's fated.

coz i nvr thot it gona be this wae.

blessed.Godwill.

e ray of light :D

2008-07-14T14:03:00.000+08:00

headache.

runnin nose.

i cant taste a single food.

i cant smell a single food.

im hungry!

no appetite.

i wana go home.

2 hrs of nap?

i need ma beuty sleep.

fullstop. :(((((

2008-07-11T07:44:00.000+08:00

work has been as per normal..

lots to catch up with..

invoices..

sales report..

update stock..

n theres shipment todae and mondae..

means stock coming! hmph..

settlements...

NVM...

it can be done! have faith in yourself.. :)

currently in e office..

reached at 740am in the mornin coz few things need to be done

so decided to come early..

aniwae..went to "ANJUNG WARISAN" yesterdae..

k i hv no idea where it was..

call ma parents if i cud break fast wit muhd..

n be home by 10pm..n they let me off..

so yaa.. :)

we were thinking of a place to break our fast..

amazingly he wana fast too..huhur..

im juz paying back ma fasting n coz of its rejab..so ya.

n i was super tired n told him aniwhere will do..

doesnt really matter..trust me..ma body was aching..lots of work..

n he drove me to this anjung warisan..

it was around 830pm..

at first i was kinda scared..coz the place was super dark..

n i told him.."do u really noe e place?"

n another minute..there u go..

i was stunned for a moment.. =o

awesome place..

when u came in,theres a live music..

e waiter n waitreses will be standing at e entrance to welcome u..

lemah badan kejap..hee.. n ol ma bodyache juz heal! haa..

a man playing an instrument, 'angklong'(k i dunnoe!)

n e place is so ulu ulu..kampung kinda environment..

where u have to open your shoes to go in..

n u can eat on top of e tree..(haa..i was shock too!)

vintage kinda restraunt..n u noe i love ol this vintage n homely environment..

love it lotz! thx fren! u juz noe me.. :D

i ate mee seafood claypot! haa..ouh boring ehk..trust me..its super nice..

n e price is so resonable..

we were laughing every minute..

haa..crazziness..

lots of thing to talk till we juz decided to have a 5 min break to eat our food..haa

n someone was perspiring..tired of laughing i guess..lol.

i drank carrot juice O..haa..nice~

aniwae it was juz a short one..

went home around 945pm..

old him i wana be home by 10pm..

so yaa..

n i drove e car back~ haha..

n he always ask me to slow down.. :)

thx god..everything went smoothly..

went home..bath..pray..n there u go..zzzzz!

im lookin forward to go again fren!

k yaa..i told u tat :)

sometimes..its not the quantity that matters..its the quality..tho u spent a min wit a fren.. it will be cherished..friendship juz heal e wound...blessed. =)

k get back to work..815am.. :) n todae decided to go home wit dad n meet him at bugis.. coz he was kinda disappointed coz i didnt breakfast wit him..lala..hmm.. :)"

2008-07-08T07:50:00.000+08:00

away for three daes. :(

no communication.

thot that it wouldnt make any diff.

guess i was wrong.

fingers kept pressing those numbers.

haa. didnt expect it.

coz it was nvr there in e very first place.

used to lettin things out i guess.

having someone to hear ur crazziness.

n nonsense.

no point dwellin.

aniwae,

1 more dae to go!

work has been good! but still theres lots to learn.

filling?

yea..getting a hang of it..

god!

one document

n theres like 4 different areas that u have to do

n dont ever MEMORIES wateve thing that u do..

infact,

UNDERSTAND..

coz memorising..

doesnt help..

trust me..

it will juz make things worse! =)

looking forward everydae..amazing discovery!

well i guess thx to ma dearest college,mastura.

shes been a PATIENCE tutor.. :P

blessed.

sometimes you cant stop ppl from judging and saying anything bout you. and it hurt most wen they used to be your close ever fren. words were thrown as if you juz dun have a bloody feelings. but ol you can do is just swallow and act like nothing happen. well, maybe some may rebel and wat happened next? they will fight n ?...well..i dont see any benefit by doing that. wah! its like a slap on the face. they thot it gona be a moment. juz for e show of it. hmmphh. let them sae wateva shit they feel like saying. action speak more than words. :) disappointment. hurt. yea. those feelin will be for a moment. n it will go off sooner or later. maybe wat happened,it happened for good.having to realise your true pal. :) its ok. shits happen in life. n having a mindset that wateva happen, it has a reason. no point dwelling. coz in a very first place, its not your loss.it juz reflect back whu u are. hmph~ unexpected.*sigh*

2008-07-01T14:00:00.000+08:00

* E unconditional <3>

2008-07-01T07:28:00.000+08:00

.MA SOUL.
MASTURA BINTE ANUAR

The greatest ever moment.
having her by ma side.
e most priceless gift god has given me..
and i thank HIM for this..
never thot you would shed those tears..
i love you babe!
only GOD knows how much u meant to me
n im sorry for my selfishness.. :(
i need you
i swear i will kol u everydae tey?
till u go, " aper lagi ziela??" ouh tk ehk?kk.. =D
n ya! u look so so much happier n pretty now..
must be tat booboo of yours! 8 months n going strong..
really happy for u babe. :D
this is wat u always wanted..
i will always pray for your happiness.
coz u deserve it..

tho it was just for a short meet up..
i really have an awesome tyme wit u..

priceless LOVE.

Sometimes in life,you find a special friend;

Someone who changes your life

just by being part of it.

Someone who makes you laugh

until you can't stop;

Someone who makes you believe

that there really is good in the world.

Someone who convinces you

that there really is an unlocked door

just waiting for you to open it.

This is Forever Friendship.

When you're down,

and the world seems dark and empty,

Your forever friend lifts you up in spirit

and makes that dark and empty world

suddenly seem bright and full.

Your forever friend gets you through

the hard times,

the sad times,

and the confused times.

Your forever friend holds your hand

and tells you that

everything is going to be okay.

And if you find such a friend,

you feel happy and complete,

because you need not worry.

You have a forever friend for life,

and forever has no end.

And it has always been u LOVE.

Went back home at 945pm after meeting up wit ma precious gal.. :) i dont even feel tired tho there was lots of work since its e end of the month.lots of report to submit. Bottom line is, she juz make e dae lahz..! =D i juz need to let it out n kol one of ma closest fren,alif, regarding this.n show him e pic i took wit gal n told him how much i miss her.I noe its ma fault. =( i was too paranoid at that period of time.

known alif for almost 8 years. purely friends. n he always has his nonsense to make me laugh. crazziness! =D this is juz another pal that i treasure lots. Always there to hear me out. this is wat

i always wanted. purely friends n no string attached.

blessed with e flow of life im living with currently.=D

2008-05-12T11:00:00.000+08:00

hey guyz!

sowie for not calling or meet up with u ppl. but i swear to god u im missing u ppl!! like every each one of u whu read this. :D i have not been online for a decade i guess.no tyme and juz couldnt be bothered.hee. nolahz. juz dun have the time. been werkin. n wen i reached home.had a talk wit someone..n bum! i went to bed straight. since im having ma break now.juz feel like updating ma blog. juz a simple entry.once again.tak kuasa nak tulis panjang2. :D

ouh ya. i watched a movie "ayat-ayat cinta". one word to describe it. BLESSED. tho i seldom watched this kinda a movie.but seriously,its such a lovely story. And wateva hardship or pain u been thru, never once sigh or regret. coz He is testing u. how faithful u are towards him.hmm.. awesome show! its the nicest movie i ever watched. so ya! :D

a few phrases that open up ma mind,

Firstly, " a person who doesnt supplicate,but He's giving everything tat u want in life to prove to u tat He's still around.n waiting patiently for you to kneel down on Him. but there will one point of tyme, he will give up n take everything back from u."

secondly, " a person who supplicate, may not get everything tat they want in life. But He's giving you bit by bit. And He will never stop giving."

And this not juz not words.its written in the 'Serenity book'.

haa. this is so random ppl. k enuf saed.

2008-04-15T17:25:00.000+08:00

Serenity.

Too much thing to share. since i have not updated ma blog for the past few weeks, gona spend quite sometime updating ma blog ryte here. =D first of ol.thx to ma dearest couzin IRFUNNY for changing ma skin again. haa. she get irritated with ma previous blog.n she randomly change it for me. thx darls~

ouh ya. i got a stable job for now. werking as an account assistant at Novena. thx god for it. been werkin for almost a month n ive learnt alot. invoices. banking. job order. sales invoice. basic invoice. handle customers n schedule appointments with clients. at first i was abit tense. lots of thing to absorb. something tat i learnt in school.but of course. its different . only 40% of what u study helps u. e rest.u juz have to learn n experience it yourself. but of course,this is juz to gain experience. as i still wana werk full time in a bank. much more stable n secured. =D

smething happen i slept at ma couzin house for almost 2 weeks as i need to renew ma passport. one night, had a talk with ma aunt. juz the two of us. i always wanted to go to a place where u cud sense 'serenity'. but i always keep it to maself as i noe its not e time yet for me to go. but e 2 weeks really change everything. once ma aunt strike those question, " u wana go with us?" i didnt expect tat im really gona go. i thot its juz a random question. but she seems serious. n somehow, things happen juz in a spit second.deep inside me, im so sure that i am going. n im prepared. unexpected.overwhelmed.excited.paranoid. thats feeling i had. mixed. its about time i guess. yea . lots of tears were shed. grandma,uncle,parents. tears of joy.= ) ouh ya. will be going on 30th May. n for some of u, make sure i gona see u in the airport =)

wen i slept over ma aunts house for 2 weeks. i miss ma family loads. kinda sad they didnt come and meet me. yea. but atleast they did kol. haa. yea. i do miss them k! =D grandma was nice wen i slept over her house. again tears was shed when she heard bout e news.we had an emotional conversation. "Any obstacles tat u GONA GO THRU from now on, juz remember tat He's testing ur patience." tats one of e advise tat was being uttered n till now im holdin on to it. =)

Ifa was trying to help me out wit a job. something that i have interest in. An Art Teacher. haa. in primary school. hopefully things will go well. k gona update soon! miss every each one of u ppl who read ma blog.. really..

current mood : tranquility

2008-04-07T09:17:00.000+08:00

in short.
im blessed.
the moment that ive been waitin.
the moment that i never thot its gona happen.
its not as if it wont happen lahz.
i nvr thot that it gona happen like now.
i juz hope everything will go off well when i return.
everything.
e moment.
blessed.

=)

2008-03-21T14:58:00.000+08:00

im back home! =0

Olryte..juz had a chat with mastura anuar..one of ma craziest, funny, laid back, cant be bothered sometimes and pweety babe! haa..we were talkin bout anithink under the sun..school,work, n how much we miss each other..n its all because of me coz im buzy wit ma workin life..damn..do i have a choice? i wana earn money. haa..n she start to jog~ chey~ mas jogging? am i hearing things? haa..ehk..tk salah per..healthy lifestyle ehk mas..dah pandai~ haa.. yea..wana achieve those abs huh? can lahz babe..with fathu around..'nothing is impossible! '(sound familiar~haa) but had to stop coz she need to kol her booboo~ =D yea. im so glad that they are getting strong together..so hapie for u gal~ really. u deserve it babe. :)

ouh ya.todae im not werkin becoz firstly,i woke up late. damn! they shud wake me up.i mean ma parents.they went to werk first and left me at home. we are suppose to go together.nvm.i look at e time.its 10am. work start at 11am. shit.im late! so i quickly went to the ladies(ladies?),bath,grab ma cloths,iron ( juz 2 min ironin), pack ma bag, tie ma hair n i dash off~ while walkin,i kol ma dad.

me: "aba! asal tak kejot ela? kan ela dah bilang niari ela kejer. ela lambat seh"

Dad: "ohh alamakz! aba luper lah. aba stuck pat custom skrng.jam terok.."

me: "huh? alahz. den i juz go maself then.."

Upon hearing that, i get more irritated as i have to go off to work maself. k it doesnt end dere. i took e cab n i realised tat ma passport is in e car!! hmph~ yes.its in e bloody car. so do i have a choice? i kol raihan n told him wat happen n i cant come to werk todae. so went to city square n buy some apparels! haa.. yea.went shopping. :D

btw, tried to stick wit e jobs tat i had. but dad doesnt approve,so i juz stick wit adidas for now.

haa..something happen went i went for an interview in one of this company. met at boon lay MRT station for e interview. n they brought us to the company. theres these 3 minah came for e interview.

(during e interview with one of e minah)

e lady: " i saw u before..u ever come for our interview ryte?

e minah: "ya! ya! i did!"

e lady: " but u didnt come for the training if im not mistaken.."

e minah: " ouh ya i didnt! coz i have something on.."

e lady: "if im not wrong this is ur third tyme comin here ryte?

e minah: "ouh ya~"

e lady: "k k u may wait"

hahaha..i burst out laughing sia..i mean..how can u come for e interview again wen u didnt attend e trainin wen u suppose to..n its her third tyme sia! n for ol those three interview that she went, she didnt come for e trainin. n how sure she is tat she gona get the job. and obviously, she didnt get it~ n she start showing tantrum. k its crappy. she start cursing and scolding the in-charge. sayin that shes buyers and should tell her earlier if she didnt get it. i was like.. omg! hey gal! are u nuts? its an interview..if u dun get it..den juz back off lahz. and in the first place u noe tat its ur THIRD TYME. so y waste ur tyme? so yaa. she start shouting and talk to her other 2 minahz bout it. showing ol those "power" tat she had.but wats e used? in e end do u still get the job?..

hmph.so e kecoh n crappy. den i was like.. "nvm lahz,try other job instead, maybe becoz u didnt attend their trainin dulu..n they are worried that u gona do it again this tyme.." n she start cursing again.haa.so wat did i do?.smile n juz keep quiet.haa.tak kuaser.

sometimes, something are juz not meant to be told. sometimes u trust a fren n let everything out n expect it to be between both of u. but it didnt. yea, its gettin out of ur nerve but nvm. since the trust has been broken, there will be no next tyme.simple as tat. pissed? yea i am.

2008-03-20T12:16:00.000+08:00

hey guyz! =D

i juz change ma blogskin coz its kinda hard to even read ma previous entries in ma blog. wen i went in,i had a hard tyme reading ma OWN blog.hee. but e previous skin was awesome n thx to ma BESTY mastura. yea. n she gona shout at me for changing it. hee. k k deal with me later wen we mit up ehk. haa.. ouh ya!! kinda feel sowie for not attending her dance comp. but i saw ur new blog.awesome! sowie i was werkin gal. =(

ouh ya. currently im reading a book: PAULO COELHO-Eleven Minutes. great book! its regarding a brazilian girl. who used to be a naive, humble and down to earth. but things started to change when she grow older. she was a gorgeous n lovely angel. But everytime she wanted to commit wit love, she failed to do so.And at her tender age,she had convince herself tat it is a terrible thing,n will juz make her suffer. there she goes.finding fame and fortune on Rio. instead, she became a prostitute. Life started to change by then. till she met a painter who told her that she has "light" in her. n he painted her. but due to her despairing past, she had to put on a test, pursuing her path of darkness(being a prostitute) or RISKING EVERYTHING to find her "inner light"........... haa.. n i never thot that reading really make u feel good. n im starting to read now.haa..weird but true~ nice~ =D

currently werking at Adidas.Tampiness Mall. yea.great colleague.werkin wit raihan( e-i-wana-achieve-ma-dream-kinda-guy)*jaw drop*.Hui Ying(e-blur-but-super-hyper-lady)tho shes blur..she's e in-charge!,Eugene. (e-aww-guy),wan ling(e-ya-lor-i-noe-mah-china-gal) n Sharon(e-mystery-gal) huhur. so ya! but most of the time they will tend to speak chinese becoz of wan ling. she has difficulty communicating in english. aniwae,most of the tyme,we are dealing wit chinese customer.so its ok! ouh ya~ i gona get an adidas shoe for free~ part of e uniform.n u can choose any shoes tat u want.but not from e heritage.hmph~ n i choose a shoes tat cost $164 . haa..n i got it for free. cool kan? =) haa. n had another job currently.tats it.dun feel to elabrate.hee.

ouh ya. these two jobs tat im dealing wit now will be juz for a few months. earn some money. wen i think im stable,i will go into Standard Chartered Bank. And tat will be ma career life. ya..ppl might be asking..end of studies? haa..no! of coure not..taking a part time course while im werkin. yaa. this is to secure me on a better salary in e future. dad is ryte,i shud start werkin SCB so tat by 20+ yrs old. i have the experience n i get e hang of it.n having a better pay. now its ol about experience n of course certs. haa..80% of ma mind now is bout werkin n money. haa. 'serious?seram siak ako~ haa..' k k enuf saed.

having a handbook to remind me of all e debts tat need to be settle. especially:bills. gona used back ma starhub line soon. haa.mcm banyak bende gtu kan..k nvm~ so e first thing to do now.Work! n wait till 31 march 2008. yea!

ouh ya decided to close down ma friendster. its dead! haa..its rotting n crappy. no point keeping it. n having to verify ol those emails n generate new a/c. troublesome. e best wae is to DELETE~! =D

current mood: calm n euphoria =)

Qoute of the dae :

Having a logical plan in life is essential.

*adios~ *

2008-03-20T02:50:00.000+08:00

no one can harm anyone else

coz each of us are responsible for our own feelings

we create n build those emotions

n dun blame anyone for wat we feel..

"no one loses anyone,becoz no one owns anyone"

those familiar conversations...

those repeated words..

those gestures..

those vows..

'those' were juz another moment spent.

hard to swallow.

those 'light' tat i saw.

was juz an imaginary.

naive n weak?

i was.

n i hate it.

but things started to change.

n im glad i did.

well..life have been super tiring for me..

having 2 jobs currently..

coz i wana achieve "it " asap!

something tat i want for so long..

n i hope i gona have it soon

wit ol ma savings..

tiring but fun tho..

coz u get to earn money..

spend it on ur needs..

n no one can stop u from spending it..

hee..but nid to save for "it" tho..

n u meet new ppl around.. =)

btw..tomolo mornin im werkin..

till nyte..n im not sleepin at this hour..

(-_-)nvm!

most of ma tyme spent were on work..

wake up in e morn..

work..(thx god i have a bunch of nice colleague)

rest n work again..

but i like tho..

tyme were not wasted..

no more dwelling bout e past..

earning money..

tats wat im focusin on..

juz wana sae..

i miss ma karma gals..

sorie guys..

didnt get to meet up wit u ppl..

been werkin like everydae now..

but will update u guys on ma new no. aite!

n seri!! i miss u too babe!

pri sch besty? haa..ouh tk perlu ehk..k

life have been simple.

n im glad it did.

sometime less is more.

dad bought a new car.

stream i guess.

have to contribute $120 monthly for e car.

anywae its for our own good.

n now its ma turn to contribute.

yea. :)

p/s: gal! i change skin coz its difficult to read those entries..pfft! :s

ive been watchin a few action movies. nice~

n ma spine start to ache back..

it worries me somehow..

yaa..nid to go for e checkup again..